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FiyaStarter RATING =  FiyaballMovie
Review
Failure To Launch Why Doesn't Oprah Do A Show About This?! by: Kwame Nyame, for Entertainment
As you can guess from the previews Failure To Launch is a bullshit comedy about some goofy ass white boy, (McConaughey) that lives at home with his folks. His folks are so sick of him that they hire some crazy ass psychologist (Sarah Jessica Parker, the main slut on Sex in the City) to get him out of the house. But surprise-surprise he is charming, handsome, has a good Job, and only lives at home because some black chick ( yes, Something New is everywhere) died bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, half an hour later she falls in love with him. He finds out the whole relationship is a sham before crazy ass psychologist can tell him the truth; blah, blah, blah some nonsense goes down with a dolphin, a chipmunk, a bird and a lizard, (no, I'm not exaggerating, the movie is loaded with cheap gags for cheap laughs) and they fall in love. Anyway, Failure To Launch might as well been titled Failure To Be Fiya, the movie is hot garbage. Now, back to important shit; if this Matthew was a nigga, Oprah would use this movie to make another episode about how Black Men are sucking the life out of their poor mothers. Black men reading this, if you meet a sista, I don't care how fine she is, ask her one question before you do think about making a move; "Do you watch Oprah?" If she says yes, RUN like Hell and look back to make sure she ain't following you. P.S. Matthew McConaughey needs to make up his damn mind, is he going to man-up and keep making hard shit like Frailty, Sahara, and U-571 or is he going to keep making these goof troop romantic comedies like Wedding Planner, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, etc. I mean really, this man killed a GODAMN dragon with an ax and his bare hands in Reign of Fire. It's pretty clear to me which direction he should move towards, but it's still his decision. Yeah, Yeah, he's making money, white women and all the Something New sistas love him, but how the hell can you keep passing this nonsense off as a career? As my dawg Reggie would say, there's only one George Clooney.
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FIYA NBA Ranks: #9 |
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Now, about once a month Oprah does a show about some nigga who
either killed his wife, gave his wife AIDS after he had sex with
another man or left his wife and four kids for a white woman.
The standard nigga beating his wife spot in the lineup has recently
been replaced with the encouraging of sistas to "Do
Something New." -- in other words, get a white man.
Basically, you can count on some kind of variation of the theme, "These
NIGGAS AINT SHIT." I personally propose that Oprah commit
to doing a show this month about white boys that don't do a damn
thing all day, let their mother pick up after, cook and clean
for their lazy asses, and ditch any woman that tries to have
a ADULT relationship with them. I am sure she will do this episode,
but make it about some shiftless nigga that lives at home with
his momma. 