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FiyaStarter RATING =  (3½)
FiyaballsMovie
Review
Glory Road Larry Brown Would've Made These Niggas Lose by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment
So, long story short, Glory Road is about how black people can achieve greatness and make history when their white handlers just step the fuck back, sit down, shut up and let them play their game. Which leads me to the Knicks... Larry Brown, you are fucking up. You fucked up the Olympic team and now you fucking up the Knicks. Maybe you should take a page from Don Haskins playbook and simply put your best players on the court...LIKE CHANNING FUCKING FRYE!!! How 'bout that shit, Larrry? How 'bout, people are tired of seeing Mo Taylor's big earthbound ass out there missing jump shots that Frye hits in his sleep? But, what can we expect from a coach who had LeBron, Wade and Carmelo and barely played any of them because he doesn't like "inexperienced" players? You'd think bringing home those fucked up looking bronze medals would've taught your ass by now, but nooooo. I swear, if you were coaching Texas Western against Kentucky, them niggas would've lost so bad, they probably wouldn't even let black people play basketball anymore. That's how badly you can fuck up a team, Larry. No wonder the Pistons look like the greatest team ever without playing the game you taught them to play. Larry, you are being an old ass stubborn white man and people are getting tired of this shit. You think we're stupid or something, Larry? We see Frye dropping 25 and 30 points in 35 minutes when the Knicks win, and we see him dropping 9 and 11 points in 17 minutes when the Knicks lose. What is so hard to understand about this, you old ass Mr. Roper looking OLD ASS MAN?!?!?!?! You are being out coached...by yourself. Do you think you're teaching life lessons by losing basketball games? Some of us can't afford to watch you "teach," Larry. Some of us put money on these fucking games, dude. You think another coach would have lost to an undersized Puerto Rican team with LeBron AND Duncan AND Iverson AND WADE AND AMARE?!?!? GODDAMN!!! YOU BE FUCKIN UP, DOGG!!! And people just gloss that shit over like it never happened. Now everybody is looking at Isiah, like he gave you a roster of...well, undersized Puerto Ricans. Let's face it, you're famous for riding Danny Manning to an NCAA title and sitting there and watching Shaq be fat and let Ben Wallace outrun and out jump him. You're not that great, dude. There is no one who needs to see Glory Road more than Larry Brown right now, with his dumb ass. It's timely and poignant and all that shit.
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FIYA NBA Ranks: #9 |
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One
the surface, Glory Road looks
like the latest installment of a tried and true Hollywood formula:
A white man/woman teaches young undisciplined niggas how to
best apply and sharpen their
talents. We've seen it with Finding Forrester, Friday
Night Lights, Sunset Park, Wildcats and The
White Shadow, to name a few. But, what makes Glory Road
different from the rest of those movies is that these young black
men, led by a conk-coifed Derek Luke, were able to
convince their white coach, played by Josh Lucas and
his teeth as Don Haskins, that they knew how to best
apply their talents and if Coach would just play the best players
and then sit the fuck down and shut up for the rest of the game,
they’d
be fine. 