FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot Movie Review with Dean Sizzle

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Dean Sizzle (32)

--Gay
--Loves foreign films, independent films, dramas and romantic comedies.
--fired from Village Voice for refusing to have sex with female editor…but, that’s just his side of the story. We called his former boss and learned that he was actually fired because he made a pass at Rupert Everett during the press junket for The Next Best Thing. We haven’t confronted him about it.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaballs

Movie Review

Hard Candy
Polanski Didn't Direct This.
by: Dean Sizzle, for Entertainment

Movies like Hard Candy are the reason the sentence "It's not for everyone" exists.

This story of a precocious 14 year-old carrying out her version of justice on a suspected pedophile is intentionally unsettling, daring its audience to watch as this beautiful little avenging angel tortures, emotionally and physically, this man she regards as evil incarnate.

The opening scene is nothing if not ominous. We watch as the two main characters, Haley (Ellen Page) and Jeff (Patrick Wilson), flirt with one another during their latest instant messenger conversation. Apparently, they've been doing this for three weeks. They finally agree to meet at a local cafe'.

As Jeff walks into the cafe', we get our first glimpse of Haley. She’s just a girl, with uncertain eyes and radiant awkwardness, cloaked in innocence and an extremely vivid red jacket, all of which made it appear as Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf were meeting. I was instantly uneasy. It only got worse when he took a smudge of chocolate off her mouth with his thumb and sucked on it. Ewww. Jeff doesn't look the part of a pedophile, which is to say he's not an old balding white guy who wears a trench coat. No, in fact, he's a handsome, young balding white guy wearing a sports jacket. He's also a high profile photographer, which seems to impress Haley. They discuss music and movies, as they laugh and flirt for a great deal of time, which sickened me further, even if I know that was the intent. Eventually, they agree to take a ride to Jeff's place.

Ugh.

As Jeff shows Haley around his ultra modern bachelor's pad, you can feel the calm before the storm. You just know that things are going to take a turn for the worst. And they do, when Jeff suggests that they have some drinks. Any doubt that this guy is out to harm this girl left me at that moment. However, Haley refuses her drink, because she didn't see him mix it. Smart girl. So, she mixes the drinks, and that's when the movie kicks into gear. She drugged him.

From there, the movie viscerally challenges us every step of the way. Jeff is revealed to be a heart-broken loner, who pines for an ex-girlfriend that he's afraid to ever speak to again. We learn nothing about Haley, except that she's exceedingly pissed at Jeff, because she thinks he had something to do with a missing girl in the area, and that she’s good at torturing men and talking trash. Who do we feel sorry for in this scenario: The loner who invites teenage girls to his home and serves them alcohol? Or the psychotic teenage girl who like to take trips into the homes of strange men, drug them and torture them mercilessly? The truth is worst than I had imagined, and the conclusion is the most shocking part of everything.

If you like psychological thrillers, go see it. If you like romantic comedies, stay your ass away from this.