I
don't get it.
He's just a kid that does some cheesy little magic tricks. Why
has Harry Potter become a multi-billion dollar industry? Wait,
I think I have an answer. It's the same answer to the question
of Paris Hilton's fame and fortune. Like that dumb sperm recycling
center, Harry Potter is white. That is the key to his appeal.
Do you really think if Harry Potter weren't white, white people
would be acting stupid and throwing money at the cashiers in Borders
and Barnes and Noble, and talking about a children's book at dinner
parties? I don't. I think they'd ignore that shit like it was
a bunch of hungry and homeless black kids on a roof begging for
help.
So, I go see Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (not
to be confused with Fiya). I didn't
hate the movie, in and of itself. It was what I expected, and
that is to say "white." But, I couldn't help but sit
there wondering if all the people in the audience would care if
black kids were fucking people up with that magic. Would it still
be cute? Hell no! White people would say it was silly and dismiss
it. Hell, they'd probably even call the police. There's a reason
why The Karate Kid is beloved by whites, while The
Last Dragon is relegated to being a cult classic among blacks.
'CISM!
Fifteen minutes into the movie, I realized I would not give this
movie a positive review...out of sheer spite. In fact, I made
up my mind to shit all over this film for one simple reason. I'm
sick and tired of the magic of white people. I'm tired of the
inspiration and the smiling and that fucking swelling orchestra
during the climactic scene. This movie was the last straw for
me. I wish Harry Potter had died. I wish Lord Voldemort had fucked
him up and killed Dumbledore, too. Now, *THAT* would have been
worth reviewing. Instead, I'm left looking like an asshole, telling
my readers what they already know: "Harry did it again
'yall"...like a fucking asshole. Well, I refuse. We
all know Harry saved the day, so why talk about it? Instead let's
talk about *why* Harry is making so much damn money? Why didn't
Fat Albert make a ton of money? That had cute precocious
kids in it. I think we all know why. Why didn't Roll Bounce
make $100 million its opening weekend? It had Bow Wow in it. I
think we all know why.
Bottomline...fuck Harry Potter. Fuck Ron Wesley. And a super fuck
you to that snooty little bitch Harmione.
And all of you crackers out there reading this and getting all
fired up, why don't you redirect your cracker ass energy and donate
to the Red Cross's Katrina Fund. There's some inspiration and
magic for your ass. Help someone, you pieces of shit.
