FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot Movie Review with Dean Sizzle

-

“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

Comments on content?
email us

Wanna submit something?
*read this page

Dean Sizzle (32)

--Gay
--Loves foreign films, independent films, dramas and romantic comedies.
--fired from Village Voice for refusing to have sex with female editor…but, that’s just his side of the story. We called his former boss and learned that he was actually fired because he made a pass at Rupert Everett during the press junket for The Next Best Thing. We haven’t confronted him about it.

FiyaStarter RATING =

Fiyaballs

Movie Review

A History of Violence
TOM STALL, BABY! WHAT'CHA KNOW'BOUT ME?
by: Dean Sizzle, for Entertainment

Did you really think Viggo Mortensen would sit idly by and let himself be remembered as Aragorn for the rest of his life?

With A History of Violence, Mortensen has effectively obliterated any chance of being typecast as The Strong, Silent Guy on The Horse, which is exactly what he was becoming after doing Hildalgo and the upcoming Alatriste. In Violence, Mortensen's formidable range is fully utilized, as he plays well-liked small-town husband and father Tom Stall. On the surface, Stall is an even-tempered diner owner, who's only problems are teaching his son (Ashton Holmes) to deal with the school bully and servicing his wife (Mario Bello) regularly. But, there is something about him that's just a bit off. He's too nice. He tries too hard not to get upset about things. But, that soon changes when two dirtbags--on a robbery spree across the Midwest--come to town. They decide to step in Stall's diner to pick up some extra cash, and they never leave...BECAUSE THEY GET FUCKED UP!!! GODDAMN!!! VIGGO KILLED THEM NIGGAS FAST AS FUCK!!! TOM STALL, NIGGAS!!! TOM STALL! HE KILLED PEOPLE FOR A LIVING! YOU AIN'T KNOW THAT, DID YA?!?!?!? NOW, LOOK AT YOUR DUMB ASSES!! YOU IS DEAD, SUCKAS!!! DEAD!!! TALK THAT SHIT NOW!!! WHAT?!?!?!? T. STALL, Y'ALL!

Viggo Mortensen is going to get an Oscar nomination for this movie. If he doesn't, I promise to publish all the hate mail I receive and happily admit that most of it is completely justified.

Stall's heroics become national news and his former existence as a contract killer finally catches up to him. His old friends in the Philly Mafia recognize him from the news and they come to find him to rectify some dirt he did many moons ago. But, Tommy Dawg got a wife and kids. It's about them now. He's not going out like that. The Great Ed Harris, wearing a cool ass glass eye, plays Mob heavy Carl Fogarty, who comes to town looking for the man responsible for taking his eye out with barb wire. Now, you know ain't nobody took that man eye but Tom. He so damn crazy.

What ensues after the initial confrontation between are some of the most graphically violent scenes ever filmed, and one very explicit sex scene. The movie is hot fuckin' FIYA. I tell ya no lies. There are traces of The Godfather, Die Hard, Every Mel Gibson Action Movie and Enter the Dragon in Violence. It's simply beyond criticism. It's pretty much perfect. I don't want to give anything away by discussing it beyond that description.

"If you have the means, I highly recommend seeing this film."--Ferris