FiyaStarter.com - Reel Hot with Reggie Eggert

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Reggie Eggert (30)

-Loves any movie with black people in it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20 minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s all they deserve.

FiyaStarter RATING =

(4½) Fiyaballs

Movie Review

Hitch
It's Super Positive, But There's A Hitch
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment

Leave it to Will Smith to bless us with the most charasmatic, intelligent and, most importantly, positive portrayal of a black man in a romantic comedy since Eddie Murphy as Marcus Graham in Boomerang.

Like Murphy's Graham, Smith's Alex Hitchens has a way with the ladies. Every woman in the film wants him and every man in the film wants to be like him. Hitch is an uncertified "date doctor," who is helping the losers of the world (Well, Manhanttan) get the girls of their dreams. He's so good at his job, he can make a filthy rich debutante fall head over high heels for a fat ass, balding tax lawyer, which is the primary subplot here, featuring Amber Valletta and Kevin James.

Hitch is doing a fine job helping fat Albert (James) seduce the lovely Allegra (Valletta), until he becomes preoccupied with a seemingly unattainable beauthy of his own, a gossip reporter named Sara Melas, played by Ms. Eva Mendes AKA the hottest tamale on the planet.

But, that's where the unavoidable problem with the films comes into play. While Smith and Mendes have an undeniable on-screen chemistry, as I watched them, I couldn't help but think one thing and one thing only: Sistahs ain't gonna like this shit!

Sistahs, I know y'all gonna go see this movie and have a damn fit, wondering out loud why couldn't Jada, Gabrielle Union, Vivica, Lisa Raye, Angela Bassett or Cicely Tyson have played Mendes part, but y'all gotta calm down. I did my own research on Eva Mendes and I found that she is about 1/16th Black Cubano, so y'all just gonna have to take that shit and give her a pass. This movie made $50 mil on opening weekend and we don't need y'all acting all stupid and bringing some totally unnessary controversy to an otherwise wonderful movie.

Shit, you know how long I've waiting to see a black man be intelligent, monogamous and honest on-screen in a romantic comedy? You know how many years of bufoonish coonery I've had to put up with as a film critic?

If you can't take the fact that a Latina gets the Black man of your dreams in this one, then don't go see it. I don't necessarily like the fact that a sistah isn't playing the female lead (ahem, or supporting role) in this one, but at least I can focus on the big picture. That's what you need to do, sistah. If you can't, wait for the next Morris Chestnutt joint or something. He never fails to deliver, with his unfunny ass. Whatever you do, don't bad mouth this movie to anyone who will listen. We need this movie to do huge numbers.

So, anyway, Kevin James is very funny and he gets Amber Valletta in the end.

This is the most positive film I've seen so far this year. God Bless Will Smith. He and Denzel are holding the weight of Black Manhood on film, on their shoulders.

I just realized that "Black Manhood" part sounded kinda gay. Nevertheless, they good and we should celebrate the two gentlemen.

*note: 4 and 1/2 fire balls (woulda been 5, if they had a sistah in the movie...at all)