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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.
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Reggie Eggert (30)
-Loves any movie with black people in
it.
--Reggie was fired from BET.com for giving a 4-star review
to Woo, which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made.
Yes, worse than that. Yup, that too. It’s unforgivably
bad. Reggie has learned his lesson. He promised not to give
any movie with Jada Pinkett Smith in it for more than 20
minutes a rating higher than 2 and ½, because that’s
all they deserve.
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FiyaStarter
RATING = 
Fiyaball
Movie Review
King Kong
This…long…ass…movie.
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment
Peter...Jackson...got...a...lotta....damn....nerve...makin'...a...nigga...sit...around...and...
wait...to ...see...that...big...ass...C...G...I...monkey.
 And
that's just why this shit BOMBED. GOOD! You can't have human beings
sitting down that long. What the hell's wrong with him? I'm not
even gonna talk about this long ass movie. It's wasted enough
of my time. What I'm gonna do, dear reader, is be respectful of
your time, unlike Mr. Jackson, and suggest better ways for you
to spend it instead of seeing this dumb ass movie, with its big
ass fake monkey, fake dinosaurs and Adrien Brody's all-too-real
nose.
After some careful research, I found that a healthy adult human
being can do the following things in 3 hours and 7 minutes:
-
Create the Galapagos Islands (If you were God)
-
Play
six games of NBA2K6 with your boy
-
Run
a half marathon
-
Watch
all of Mike Tyson's career, including interviews, up to The
Don King Era
-
Bleed
to death after getting shot in the stomach with a .22.Watch
the World Table Tennis Championship
-
Catch three tires, five sneakers, one dead body and a crack
pipe, while fishing in the Anacostia River
-
Take
58 shots in a double-overtime NBA game (if you were Iverson
or Kobe)
-
Have
sex eight times (when you're 15-23)
-
Have
sex two good times (anything beyond 23) (NOPE!!!!! YOU LYING!!!!!)
-
Download
My Baby Got Back 33, Harlem Knights, She Got Ass 6, Black
Ass Candy 12 and Season 2 of The Gilmore Girls
-
Repeatedly
say hello to Foxy Brown...and wait for her to respond
-
Listen
to Jay's post-Ether interview 27 times
-
Complete
Contra 18 times
and
finally,
-
Aimlessly
ride a bicycle around Harlem, then head to the studio to record
your next flop
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