Movie Review
Mr. Brooks
Costner Adds To Legendary Filmography (Bitch, I'm Serious)
by:
Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment
I fucks wit Kevin Coster. Everyone who knows me knows this. They be hating, talking about how played out he is and how Dances with Wolves shouldn't have won anything. Well, talk as they might, you can't take away two Oscars, three nominations and 1.5 billion domestic. Costner is the fucking man, bitches. And if Mr. Brooks is any indication, he's gonna be the man for some time.
While Harrison Ford is greasing up his knees to run from some big ass boulders, natives and snakes in Indiana Jones and The City of Old Ass Fools Tryna Reclaim The Glory of the Eighties, Costner is maturing as an actor and putting out heat like OpenRange, The Guardian (NOPE! It was good) The Upside of Anger and his latest, Mr. Brooks.
In Brooks, Coster plays a prominent and respected business man. A genuinely well-liked guy, with an insatiable lust for killing folks. FIYA PREMISE ALERT!!!! Business man? Killing? You read right, y'all. As the movie opens, Mr. Brooks is receiving his Man of The Year award from his peers. He is sincerely touched by being recognized, and he breaks down as he thanks his wife during his speech. But, don't be fooled by that nice guy stuff. This muhfucka was shooting people five minutes later.
You see, Mr. Brooks can't help it. Killing is an addiction, as half the niggas in Southeast, DC can attest. He attends AA meetings to keep the addiction in check, but he still can't help it. Pushed by his alter-ego, Marshall (Bill Hurt, being brilliant again), to get back to doing what he does best, Mr. Brooks accepts the challenge from his inner demon, as he kisses his wife goodnight, changes into his murder gear and promptly kills a young couple having sex. Brooks is a ruthless killer. He's meticulous and merciless, like a beautiful woman who's made up her mind to cheat on a nigga.
But, as careful as Brooks is, Dane Cook's unfunny ass saw him kill the couple. It was the first mistake Brook's has ever made and he pays for it dearly, as Cook follows him around for the next hour and overacts in every scene. Whoever was responsible for casting Cook in this role should get punched in the stomach by Rampage Jackson. I don't care if it's a woman either.
The movie is kinda overwhelmed by plotlines, so beware. There's the one with Brooks taking Dane Cook on his next murder mission. There's the one with Demi Moore bearing his oxygenated teeth in every scene. And there's the one with another killer, The Hangman, who has as much business being in this movie as Kadeem Hardison.
But, fuck all that, this movie has Coster, so I gots to recommend it.
