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FiyaStarter RATING =  (2½) FiyaballsMovie
Review
Punisher: War Zone
The unintentional comedy from the opening mob sequences really set the tone for what seemed like a great cinematic experience. The only thing that hindered The Punisher: War Zone from fully realizing that was its horrid attempts to get real laughs. More on that later; let me set it up first. Street vigilante-police ducking extraordinaire Frank Castle played by Ray Stevenson has been knocking off made men and their families for quite some time since his own family got killed the fuck up. In his latest mission to eradicate a bunch of goombas he accidentally murders an undercover FBI agent and disfigures the vainest gangster since Moe Greene in the process. The rest of the film places Frank trying to balance his growing conscious with his firm hold on violence. In between all the killings, and there are a shitload of ‘em, Stevenson makes good on his portrayal of Castle, and much better than Thomas Jane did in the ’04 Travolta version, might I add. That may not sound like much of a feat, but seeing as though Castle is supposed to be this cold and heartless killer, the job Stevenson did to bring a part of the buried family man that once was, out has to be commended. Any fanboy complaining about the job Ray did should be kicked out of his grandmother’s basement ASAP. Now back to the misstep this film took into the direction of slapstick; by now we should all know that Stan Lee, Marvel and the attached director are going to include something “funny” in these comic book films. For whatever reason, I know not the fuck why, they do this dumb shit. Fine, at least I’m ready for it…just not to this extent. After horrible glass torture at the hands of Big Pun, McNulty’s character Billy Russoti is malformed into Jigsaw. On his getback mission, Jiggy recruits his clinically insane brother to help him get the guy who turned his face into a pair of Madras shorts from JCrew. The Mutt and Jeff wise guy act these two brothers put on was just embarrassing. Remember the inexplicable gigolo scene from the last Spiderman? Throw some coonin and dialogue in and we have every interaction between Jigsaw and his dumb ass frenzied brother. Shit was just fine without all that. Damn! Reminded me of my ex co-worker Trudy. No matter how smooth the workday was going, that bitch absolutely had to say something negative to ruin things. “Hey Sophia, I got some free tickets to ... “Goddamn these grapes are good.” –Mark ... “Hey, Reggie you got a haircut!” –Sophia
Anyway, the rest of the film was good. Lots of guns and Newman from Seinfeld was in it.
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FIYA NBA Ranks: #9 |
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Don’t ask me anything about the first 10 to 15 minutes of this movie, I was way too busy slobbering on myself laughing at Jimmy McNulty. Yes, McNulty from The Wire (Dominic West)—the British guy. It honestly took me that much time to get past the worst attempt at an Eye-talian accent since Pesci’s in Casino (enough time has passed, it’s ok to admit how bad it was now…and yes, I know he’s Italian). 