Movie Review
Are We There Yet
Ice Cube Fights Kids Over Nia Long
by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment
Now,
this is what we need from Hollywood: films portraying positive
black people trying to do positive things.
Ice Cube
stars in Are We There Yet, the story of a self-centered sports
collectibles store owner, who falls for a gorgeous, succulent
working-mom, played by the ever-fetching Nia Long. But, there’s
one problem. Her kids hate any man who tried to court her, pelting
them with cream-filled balloons and rolling marbles under their
feet. Cube is undeterred. He wants that pussy. Who can blame him?
It’s Nia Long. He starts giving her rides all over town,
in hopes of ultimately giving her a good ride in the sack…like,
you know, on his penis.
After
a few weeks of putting in work, Cube still finds himself in the
“friend zone,” until Long informs him that she has
noticed that he doesn’t take an active interest in her kids,
and that she can’t give it up to a man who doesn’t
even like her kids. So, Cube does what any man would do in that
situation. He lies.
Forced
to prove his dedication to being a positive male figure to her
bad ass kids, Cube accepts Nia's invitation to travel with her
children to meet her at a business function in Vancouver. Yes,
you read right. The nigga gotta go to Canada to get the ass! Damn!
Cube doesn’t even blink. He scoops the kids up in his obscenely
tricked-out Navigator and embarks on the journey to reunite the
kids with Nia…and bang her. This is where the film picks
up. There are enough sight gags and gross out jokes over the next
hour to satisfy even the most skeptical viewers of black cinema,
myself included.
In
the end, Cube’s bachelor learns that there’s more
to life than pussy and sports (barely). There’s family.
There’s positive black family.
Be
sure to catch little Aleisa Allen’s rendition of an Aretha’s
Franklin classic, a two-thirds of the way into the movie. That
little girl got some sass. So funny. So positive.
