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FiyaStarter RATING =  (4½)
FiyaballsMovie
Review
Wedding Crashers Vince Vaughn: Worlds Current Top Coon? by: Reggie Eggert, for Entertainment I’m
so glad Vince Vaughn isn’t black. Why? I’m glad you
asked that. It’s simple, really. If Vince Vaughn were black,
Hollywood wouldn’t know what to do with him and we’d
be deprived of his immense talents as a world-class coon, shucker
and jiver. Uppity blacks, the ones who pretend to support Spike
Lee—but, in reality, can’t wait to see the next romantic
comedy starring Morris Chestnutt as a reformed “playa”
trying to win the heart of Nia Long—would never embrace
brother Vince. He’s lanky, loud, profane as fuck, unkempt
and his characters are almost always insensitive womanizing jackasses.
He wouldn’t even be In Wedding Crashers, Vaughn continues to amaze with his incredible comedic skills. I couldn’t stop laughing. Seriously, at one point, I had to look away from the screen, because I couldn’t catch my breath and I was coughing uncontrollably. Vaughn and my favorite goofy white guy, Owen Wilson, play Jeremy and John, divorced mediators who get laid by crashing weddings and scooping up all of the emotionally vulnerable women they can get their hands on. This simple strategy works like a charm until…of course, one of them falls for a girl. This girl’s name is Claire Cleary, daughter of the U.S. Secretary of Treasury, played by the comedically underrated Christopher Walken. Rachel McAdams and her teeth play Claire, the tragically bored daddy’s girl. Owen Wilson charms her to pieces at her older sister’s wedding reception, only to be interrupted by her boyfriend, played by some guy with eyes that are so blue I wouldn’t be surprised to learn his mom was raped by a white Bengal tiger. While the movie’s primary plot revolves around Wilson and McAdams, it’s clearly Vince’s show. He provides all of the big laughs. He maintains the pace. When he’s not on the screen, the flow of the movie loses its edge. What can I say? The man is a genius. I never thought I’d see another guy who would sell a stupid sight gag as well as Jim Carrey, but Vaughn is just as funny as Carrey. You can mark down the tirade he hurls at Wilson as an instant classic. Wedding
Crashers is the best comedy of the summer, and it’s
because Vince Vaughn isn’t black. Thank God.
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nominated
for an NAACP Image Award if he were black, and they gave one of
those paperweights to Monique’s big unfunny ass, so it’s
not like they’re hard to get. If I had my way, he would’ve
been nominated for his performance in Be Cool. Now, that
was some good cooning. Some of the best black young comedians
in the world would never be allowed to coon like that without
having their careers ruined by black movie critics, who think
it’s their duty to keep anything they deem embarrassing
to blacks confined to BET and their own family reunions.