We
all know this movie is about Michael Jackson. In Charlie and the
Chocolate Factor, a wealthy recluse invites five white kids into
his enormous home and seduces them with candy. The parallels made
my skin get up and walk out of the theater. As Willy Wonka, Johnny
Depp's eccentric wardrobe, high-pitched voice, pasty complexion,
red lips and straight black hair are so strikingly similar to
Michael Jackson, you can't help but wonder why Tim Burton just
didn't ask Jackson, himself to play the part. I'm sure Mike would
love to let a bunch of kids search his chocolate bar for the golden
ticket. Eh? Eh?
You mad?
Before Wonka shows up onscreen, the movie is actually pretty entertaining,
as children all over the world are shown storming into candy shops
and grocery stores, snatching up Wonka bars hoping to be one of
the luckiest kids in the world. It's a classic children's movie,
full of grand set designs and marvelous special effects. It's
fun-loving, cheeky and conveys the values of family and hard work.
However, I did have a problem with one of the children. More precisely,
I had a problem with where this child lived. Mike Teavee is a
10-year-old hyper-aggressive video game addict from Denver, Colorado,
who likes to sit around and shoot up everything in sight on his
ultra-violent video games. Now, I know I may be reaching, but
isn't that a bit insensitive? Ya know...Columbine? Again, maybe
I'm overreacting, but it just didn't seem like an honest coincidence.
After all the kids are assembled, they enter Wonka's factory of
chocolatty goodness. The visuals in this movie are extraordinary.
Only Tim Burton's warped mind could conceive such an expansive
spectacle. I wanted to swim laps in that river of chocolate.
However, all of it is rendered moot once Depp starts to dominate
the action with his weird Michael Jackson impersonation. Any fool
can see that Jim Carrey should have played Willy Wonka. He was
born to play Wonka. Depp's interpretation of the character is
that of an asexual misanthrope, who can only derive pleasure from
a child. Disgusting. It makes me sick to think about it. Depp
is clearly being weird for the sake of it. Watching him act like
Michael Jackson for 90 minutes was one of the least enjoyable
experiences of the summer for me. I'm pretty surprised this movie
didn't bomb.
If you're not taking a kid, there's reason to go see this movie.
