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The
Magmafiya is an investigator dedicated to halting the spread
of history that has been re-written by revisionists. Only
Wine, Lena Horne and De-La Soul albums get better with time.
No offense to slain entertainers, movie stars or anyone
else who has finally been able to reach the mainstream,
but your past work and accomplishments will not be re-reviewed,
not on the Magmafiya’s watch.
“It is what it is.” – The Magmafiya |
Exposé:
Corporate Co-conspirators in Booz-Assassination Attempt
by: The Magmafiya, for Sports
The following
is an in depth exposé inside the pathetic attempt to ruin
the integrity of one, Carlos Boozer, former power forward of the
Cleveland Cavaliers. Carlos left town in a swirl of controversy
and had his name ran through the mud something terrible. As with
most things though, the dust has settled and here is the exposed
truth for your viewing.
REAL
NAME: GORDON GUND
CODE NAME: Daredevil
ROLE: Used his blindness to secure the
sympathy of the media and therefore the public. The fact
is he is the money-hungry grandson of a criminal who built
the family fortune running moonshine throughout Ohio during
Prohibition. And he did Grandpa proud when he tried to force
a 22-year-old walking double-double to sign for far far
less than his value. Disgusting.
TERMINATION:
Feb. 2005. Sold Cavs at peak value to some poor dumb ass
sap and Usher, because he knows damn well 'Bron ain't spending
his entire career in Cleveland.
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REAL NAME: PAUL SILAS
CODE NAME: The Fall Guy
ROLE: Used
his influence as coach to keep Booz' stats under wraps for
as long as possible, just to make certain that he wouldn't
ask for a huge contract. His plan was disrupted when Booz
led the Cavs to back-to-back wins over Utah and Seattle
sans 'Bron, putting up 30+ and 10+ in both games.
TERMINATION: March
2005. Fired as Head Coach of the Cavs after revealing the
organization’s widespread hatred of Boozer. This hatred
conflicted with 'Bron's affinity for Booz, who was a close
friend of his. Once ‘Bron's eyes were opened as to
what went down with Booz, no one's job was safe.
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REAL
NAME: JAMES PAXON
CODE NAME: Dumb Ass Blatant Liar
ROLE:
Used his reputation as a good guy to secure the media's
trust after he was ordered by Gund to lowball Booz. In his
defense, he did realize that the American news media was
too lazy to conduct the moderately easy research it would
have required to uncover the facts of the debacle. Fired
Silas in the middle of the season, as a last attempt smokescreen.
TERMINATION:
Imminent. His days as GM of the Cavs are numbered
as ‘Bron recently reflected on the events that led
to the departure of his enforcer, road dog, #2 and to the
acquisition of the roll of Charmin (Drew Gooden) that has
been his replacement. Good grief, he's as bad an executive
as Jordan.
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REAL NAME:
Robert Pelinka
CODE NAME: Pawn
ROLE: Used
by the media to advance the case against Booz. He and his
agency wilted under media scrutiny. Pelinka resigned during
the fiasco.
TERMINATION:
N/A. Boozer subsequently reacquired the services of Mr.
Pelinka after the circus left town. The media barely covered
it, because it conflicts with story they gave the public.
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