 |
||||||||
l
|
||||||||
- Wanna submit something?
|
Gino’s
Super Bowl XLI Preview and Prediction
by: Gino Tourretti, for Sports
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What the Bears can do to try and prevent putting this game on Grossman’s shoulders is run Thomas Jones early and often. I have no idea why they tried to reinvent the wheel in the NFC Championship game and give the early carries to Cedric Benson STILL CRAZY, but they better not try that cute shit against Indy. Jones is the key for the Bears offense. His hard ass turf shredding runs set up those big plays to Berrian and Muhhamed, which have bailed Rex REX-INNEFFECTIVE AFTER SUNDAY, RUMP SHAKER, JAY USED THE HORNS out many a game day. Edge:Colts DEFENSE: The Bears defense has been much like the Colts offense, this post season; incredible hype yielding so-so results. But, just like Peyton and his crew, they are very opportunistic and one play by the group can turn the tide and score of a game. LOVIE’S PRAYING FOR HIS D, HIS OFFENSE IS BOOTY BROWN, BOOTY BROWN, THEY GOTTA SCORE-AAHHHHHHHHHH! I look for Nathan Vasher to play a big part in that secondary, because they will be tested early and often. And as always, the Chicago linebackers will challenge the opposing signal-caller and RB stationed in the backfield to protect him. Joseph Addai, be ready. RIP! I’ve never seen a 5’8 man mean more to his team as Bob Sanders has the Colts. NYAAAAAK, LIES LIES, BARRY SANDERS WAS 5’8 TOO. STRIKE THAT, IDGIT! Without him, Indy’s defense has been an ass sandwich. With him, it’s like they’re instantly energized; they fly to the ball, they stuff the run and they sell out in coverage. It’s like night and day. I can’t stress how important it will be for Dungy’s squad to stuff the run early and put pressure on Grossman. Sanders and Marlon Jackson make plays, but they can’t if they have to worry about Jones and Benson ground chucking and slowing the game down. TANK JOHNSON GOT GUNS, HE’S GONNA SHOOT A NIGGA! Edge: Bears SPECIAL TEAMS: HESTER RUNS LIKE A GHOST RUNNING FROM BILL MURRAY, HE’S FAST, HE’S QUICK, HE’S DANTE HALL WITH MORE MOVES, LUKE SPENT GOOD MONEY ON THIS KID'S PUSSY AT THE U. HE’S DESMOND HOWARD ’07. FAVRE DIDN’T DO SHIT, GNAAAACH, NEEEAACH! That said, don’t let this game come down to Adam V’s foot. Edge: Bears COACHING: Dungy has coached in more big games, but Lovie has done more with less talent in his short career as head guy. ACKKKK, DUNNO, DON’T CARE, HERM IS IN SOUTH BEACH RIGHT NOW FUCKIN BITCHES. GONNA GET CAUGHT WITH A PROSTITUTE LIKE EUGENE ROBINSON. HERM’S A PIMP-OOTTTTTTTIT! Edge: HERM PREDICTION I’m a firm believer that good defense beats good offense, but the Bears defense has shown too many holes in the last couple of weeks for me to call them a great defense. Indy’s offense seems like its hitting its stride and I have a funny feeling that they’re ready to explode. Also, I just can’t get over the Rex Grossman GONNA CHOKE ON A FISHBONE WITH THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHING factor. Hester is the wildcard in all of this, but if Indy can at least contain him, I don’t see this being much of a contest. |
FIYA NBA Ranks: #9 |
||||||
It seems like the whole world is happy for Peyton Manning, because he finally got the best of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick ACKKKK MODEL FUCKER AND SMELLY SWEATSHIRT GUY FINALLY LOST. I don’t really care, but it was probably for the best YNNNEAAAH, HE WOULDA KILLED HIMSELF NYAAAAK, as the Colts win last Sunday has set up the first ever Black-coached Super Bowl. SPOOKBALLBOWL. SPOOK-SPOOK. It will be refreshing to see Lovie Smith, who once upon a time was an assistant to Tony Dungy in Tampa Bay, UNCLE TOMS TRYING TO STICK TOGETHER LIKE JEWS AND CHINKS, square off on the biggest stage in sports. WHOOP. Here’s a preview of the Super Sunday matchup.
OFFENSE: The Colts are an offensive juggernaut, while the Bears are just naut. NYAAAK, NOPE, FUNNIER THAN BERMAN, NYEEEER, MAYBE NOT AS FUNNY AS MAYNE. It seems very lopsided, but in one game, after two weeks of preparation, the Bears have an opportunity to focus on the things that kept the aforementioned juggernaut endzoneless for six quarters, in these playoffs, before they went apeshit on the Patriots. However, if you’ve watched the Bears the last couple of weeks, you just have this gut feeling that Rex Grossman has a good three turnovers left in him SCRUB IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME, GHOST OF NEIL O’DONNEL, MARLON JACKSON GONNA BE LARRY BROWN, MVP WHOOOOOP, WHOOOOP! The Colts must use Dallas Clark to run Briggs and Urlacher HE LOVES URBAN PUSSY, DOESN’T LOVE HIS KID THOUGH, PAYS PENNIES, PUFFY MAD, PUFFY MAD, NYAKKKK! out of their comfort zone in Chicago’s defensive scheme.