FiyaStarter.com - Linwood Jenkins

-

“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

Comments on content?
email us

Wanna submit something?
*read this page

LoyalKnicksFan aka Patrick Walt Willis John Allan Johnson-Oakley-King the 3rd, is 31-year-old Yonkers native who was forced to move upstate, further away from MSG and the current state of the Knicks. He was fired by his employer in 1994 for refusing to work during the ‘94 Playoffs and NBA Finals which featured the New York Knicks. He blew the engine on his 1986 Dodge Caravan, racing home for the tip-off of game 5 of the 1995 playoffs between Indiana and New York. Written requests that Knicks management pay for the repairs for the vehicle were denied. During the 1997 NBA Season, he reduced his yearly income by 60% because he left work early every evening in order to watch what he thought was the New York Knicks team that would finally defeat Cheese Eyes and the Chicago Bulls. While most people resort to "Word to my moms" or "Word to god," Loyal is often heard saying, "Word to the Knicks."

Interview With Nate Robinson?
by: LoyalKnicksFan, for Sports

The popularity of New York Knicks rookie Nate Robinson has been on the rise since summer league play when he first displayed his uncanny dunking ability for a guard listed at only five feet seven inches (really only 5'5 but hey, it's the NBA). Now a fan favorite around the league for his victory in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest he has become one of the most exciting rookies to don a Knicks uniform in recent years.

I happened to be lucky enough to get invited by a group of NYPD officers to 50 Cent's new music video shoot and I was very surprised to see Nate Robinson there. It didn’t surprise me that Nate was going to be in a 50 Cent video because athletes and rap videos go together like fine bitches and expensive automobiles. What did surprise me was the amount of attention he was getting. It was almost as if they were filming a music video for him and not 50. Being the Loyal Knicks Fan that I am, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to bring you an exclusive interview with the Knicks highflying rookie. The interview, however, was strange to say the least...

LKF: Nate, great to meet you. How's life been treating you since gettin' in the L?
NR: Getting an L? I destroyed Fat Joe, Jadakiss and Ja Rule. Look at Soundscan, man. Ahh haa.

LKF: Um. Ok. So how did you end up making #4 your number?
NR: Number 4? Son, did you hear me? I'm number one. Again, check Soundscan. Who do you think I am, Game?

LKF: Speaking of game, how did you develop your basketball abilities? Especially your jumping ability.
NR: I don't really play basketball. I am working with Lennox Lewis’ former trainer and I plan on turning pro on the boxing circuit. I've been jumping turnstiles since my days in Jamaica, Queens. YEAH!.

LKF: What’s your thoughts on Isiah Thomas?
NR: Now that’s a nigga with some big ass teeth. They talk about my teeth? Look at his teeth. His shits been super sized. Gii-Gu-Gii, Gii-Gu-Gii.

LKF: *thinking to self, ‘What the f*ck is he talking about*
Anyway, let's get into some off basketball stuff. What CD's you got in the car right now?
NR: I got Game in there, although his album ain’t coming out, right now. I'm holding on to M.O.P's and Ma$e’s albums, which I might never release either. Anything that’s GGGGGGG-UNIT! Ahh haa.

LKF: What about the NBA life? How's it dealing with the groupies? You gotta love the groupies?!
NR: Vivica, man…she was a wild one. I thought she could be girlfriend material, but then the bitch tried to climb into my bedroom window one night. I guess I got the magic stick. Ahh haa…eh?

LKF: I know you’re a big video game fan. What was it like when you first saw yourself in a video game?
NR: They did a good job making my game, Bulletproof. I mean the character looks just like me. Go get Bulletproof y’all, I own the publishing to that "game," as well. Ahh haa!

LKF: *scratchin' head* What about endorsements? A lot of players get their own sneakers, Gatorade commercials, stuff like that. What are you working on?
NR: *squints eyes* You’re joking, right? My Reebok deal has been the most successful rapper/sneaker line in history. Obviously, since I own Vitamin Water, I'm not going to do any deals with Gatorade.

LKF: Umm, Okay. Million-dollar question: Are the Knicks going to make the playoffs, next year?
NR: The Knicks suck. They need to do a deal with me and my new company G-Unit sports promotions and marketing. That would definitely help. Besides, I'm a Nets fan anyway.

LKF: Nate, what in Gods name are you talking about?
NR: Why the hell do you keep calling me Nate? Yo Yayo, get over him and get this fucking weirdo outta here. This interview is over!

What’s stranger than the interview itself was a phone call I get from rapper 50 Cent telling me I'm not allowed at any more of his video-shoots or media events due to the way I handled an interview with him. I did not see Fif ONCE during the whole video shoot. How strange.

You know the addy...inzekewetrust@hotmail.com