|
FIYA
NBA Rankings #1 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA
Analysis |
1 |
Pistons
|
All
the players have bought into Flip Saunders new up-tempo
offense. When asked how much he enjoys playing in the new
system, a smiling Rip Hamilton stated, "Oh, man, everybody's
just happy, man. We're enjoying it. Well, everybody but
Darko, but his ass sorry, so nobody don't care what he think
anyway." |
2 |
Spurs
|
Won't
be long until Eva Longoria gets caught by the paparazzi letting
another player tap it and ruins the Spurs season. That bitch
gonna Yoko Ono up that dynasty and I'ma laugh. GOOD! Tim
gonna be like "I told everybody to get a plain ass white
woman and FOCUS!!! LIKE ME!!!" |
3 |
Pacers
|
They've
played six games without Ron-Ron going crazy. Only 20 more
to go. I can't wait. |
4 |
Clippers
|
Three
Dukies and an Alien. |
5 |
Wizards
|
Gilbert
is now the second most beloved nigga among black folks in
DC behind Marion Barry. And second is the most any nigga
can hope for because no one will ever be more loved than
Mayor Barry. |
6 |
Bucks
|
How
about we give D. Wade another nickname and let T.J. Ford
have that "Flash" shit? |
7 |
Heat
|
I
think Shaq made it clear to Antoine Walker that it's Dwayne's
team. Someone needed to. |
8 |
Mavericks
|
"The
Mavericks are built for the regular season."--Round
Mound of Sound bytes. |
9 |
Cavaliers
|
All
they have to do is make the playoffs and Lebron gets his
MVP. I don't see how they can fuck this up, but I won't
be surprised when it happens. |
10 |
Bulls
|
They've
got three players who are potential 20+ a game scorers.
Skiles needs to turn one of them loose and stop this madness.
Fine, I'll stop being cryptic...GIVE DENG THE DAMN BALL! |
11 |
Grizzlies
|
Pau
Gasol looks like a drifter that ain't to be fucked with.
He the type of white boy niggas would be scared to be near
in any other context but sports. |
12 |
Warriors
|
Chris
Mullin signed Mike Dunleavy to a 5 year 45 million deal.
If Mullin's name were Isiah Thomas, people would notice
this. |
13 |
T-Wolves
|
Groundhog
Day starring Kevin Garnett. KG wakes up, posts some double-doubles,
learns new languages, learns some jazz piano, fucks a few
hoes and ultimately loses in the first round. Rinse and
repeat. |
14 |
Rockets
|
T-Mac's
back.
*drumroll*
Eh? Anyone? Eh? |
15 |
Jazz
|
"Girl,
I'm So Tired of Being Average" by Mehmet Okur featuring
Memphis Bleek. |
16 |
Suns
|
They're
at .500...no thanks to Kurt Thomas. Yeah, we've noticed.
|
17 |
76ers
|
Is
it obvious to anyone else that Iverson is never getting
a ring? |
18 |
Nets
|
They're
doing a worse job at hiding the fact that they need a big
man than Jay-Z's PR firm is doing at hiding the fact that
Marques Houston used to fuck Beyonce. |
19 |
Lakers
|
Kwame
Brown is ruining people's lives. |
20 |
Magic
|
Grant
Hill is giving everyone in Orlando a hernia. Maybe he makes
up these injuries so he can spend more time fucking his
wife. I know I would. |
21 |
Nuggets
|
Go
on, haters...blame Melo. |
22 |
Kings
|
The
window is closed. It's okay, Kings fans. There's always
a draft.
*drumroll*
*Hot Fiya Don Rickles Comedy
Dance* |
23 |
Supersonics
|
Is
it possible that they actually NEED Jerome James?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...that shit is funny. |
24 |
Trailblazers
|
Darius
is counting the days until he can spend every night in the
VIP of the 40/40 Club with Eddy and Jamal. They
gonna have fun losing together and getting head from video
chicks...and ignoring Larry Brown...and laughing...and being
rich. Until then, he has to look like he cares, so that's
why he's balling like crazy. |
25 |
Hornets
|
The
only way Chris Paul doesn't win ROY is if he punches David
Stern in the nuts. So, I'd say his chances are roughly 70/30.
|
26 |
Celtics
|
Delonte
West was obviously shown a mirror after that first game.
|
27 |
Bobcats
|
Kareem
Rush looks like a nigga that should have played in the 50s
and 60s. UGH! |
28 |
Knicks
|
Isiah
and Marbury are currently taking the heat for a man that
took a team comprised of Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, Tim
Duncan, Allen Iverson, Dr. J, George Mikan, Oscar Robertson,
Jesus Christ, Apollo Creed,
Superman, The Hulk, Wonder Woman and The Four Horses of
The Apocalypse and promptly lost a basketball game to Carlos
Arroyo and some Puerto Rican laborers. |
29 |
Raptors
|
Chris
Bosh looks like a dinosaur. |
30 |
Hawks
|
Joe
Johnson does not care. He got his money. |
