FIYA
NBA Rankings #2 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA
Analysis |
1 |
Pistons
|
They
lost to the best regular season team in the world. That
could happen to anybody. They don't deserve to lose their
hold on first place in these rankings. |
2 |
Spurs
|
Whenever
I see one of Tim Duncan's lines (22, 13, 4 and 3), I picture
Neo blocking all of Agent
Smith's punches without even thinking. Duncan must've
realized he was The One around Fall of 1997 and the only
guy that believed that shit was David "Fish Patty Fade"
Robinson. |
3 |
Clippers
|
Jokes
are over. They're good. |
4 |
Mavs
|
"The
Mavericks are built for the regular season."--Round
Mound of Sound bytes. (This quote will be
used all season...period) |
5 |
Cavs
|
Lebron
just needs to hang on a few more months and the MVP is all
his. |
6 |
Pacers
|
This
team was expected to at least reach the NBA finals when
Isiah was the coach.
*looks at watch*
*whistles*
*rolls eyes* |
7 |
Grizzlies
|
What
I tell you? They just keep beating people's asses and nobody
don't understand. Team ball, people. Team ball. |
8 |
76ers
|
Chris
Webber's dad seems to have found Bill Laimbeer's game lying
around in some garbage, somewhere in suburban Detroit and
he mailed it to his son. Macy would do anything for his
boy.even dig through garbage and lie to the Feds. |
9 |
Nets
|
They'll
break the league record for alley-oops, but that's about
all you can expect from them. |
10 |
Heat
|
During
his extended rest, Shaq was seen on Miami Beach playing
volleyball with Def Jeff and The Fu-Schnickens. |
11 |
Bucks
|
Bogut's
17 rebound game seems so long ago. That's probably because
he ain't done shit since. |
12 |
T-Wolves
|
KG
finally blamed McHale. *smile*...Developing. |
13 |
Warriors
|
Chris
Mullin signed Mike Dunleavy to a 5 year 45 million deal.
If Mullin's name were Isiah Thomas, people would notice
this.
(Oh, I'm talking about this shit.all season.you
best believe) |
14 |
Wizards
|
Wes
Unseld is still the best big man collecting a check in this
organization. Pathetic. |
15 |
Nuggets
|
Carmelo
starts a season slower than any athlete I've ever seen.
|
16 |
Supersonics
|
When
they makes threes, they win? When they don't make three,
they lose. |
17 |
Kings
|
Mike
Bibby got his bags packed. He's ready to go, ASAP. |
18 |
Hornets
|
Chris
Paul is the best rookie PG since Jason Kidd. And the best
one that can shoot since John Stockton. |
19 |
Lakers
|
Kwame
is hurt. Maybe they'll start winning some games now. |
20 |
Suns
|
They're
below .500.thanks to Kurt Thomas. Yeah, we've noticed. |
21 |
Celtics
|
Paul
Pierce talking about Tayshaun Prince's defense is like Ashanti
talking about Ciara's dancing. |
22 |
Rockets
|
McGrady
needs to consult with Sir Smoke-A-Lot and get the name of
the surgeon who performed Sir's backyotomy. |
23 |
Magic
|
Dwight
Howard is turning into Hakeem before our eyes. |
24 |
Knicks
|
Channing
Frye will be the only rookie with a case against Chris Paul. |
25 |
Bobcats
|
The
Bobcats want to bring Felton along slowly.and lose. |
26 |
Jazz
|
It's
so obvious Larry Miller wants to call Booz a "lazy nigger."
Everyone in Utah already has. |
27 |
Bulls
|
Ben
Gordon is a one trick pony. Does anyone have questions about
this? |
28 |
Blazers
|
Hold
tight, Darius. Zeke gonna save you. |
29 |
Raptors
|
Chris
Bosh looks like a dinosaur. And Villanueava look like he
eats live bugs. |
30 |
Hawks
|
This
team is paying for more forwards than John Feinstein.
(only literate people get that) |
