FIYA NBA
Rankings #23 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Spurs
 |
Let's just say if it wasn't for Sam Cassell, Nick Van Exel
would get a lot of unwanted publicity. |
2 |
Pistons
 |
They still have to prove to me that they can win a title
without Corliss Williamson. NOPE!!!! Corliss. |
3 |
Mavs
 |
If
Dallas loses in the first or second round, you gotta blow
up the team. You have to. Building around Dirk just ain't getting
it done. He needs a second superstar to legitimately blame. |
4 |
Suns
 |
It was bound to happen. Shawn Marion is upset because he's
not getting enough credit for the Suns' success, this year.
'Cism? Prolly. |
5 |
Heat
 |
I've
never seen a great player make so poor of an adjustment
to getting older as Gary Payton. He still tries to play like
he 28-years-old, all creaky and shit.
*Disgust* |
6 |
Nets
 |
Yinke
Dare is having the last laugh. |
7 |
Clippers
 |
Maggette
should just give Livingston half of his muscles. He doesn't
really need them and the Clippers would be a lot better
off as a result. |
8 |
Cavs
 |
The last time a a bum ankle stopped someone from winning
MVP, Grant Hill was 27 years-old. That trophy is Bron's. He
should sit out until the postseason. There's nothing to prove. |
9 |
Nuggets
 |
Is there any other pro ball player who looks like they're
having less fun than Andre Miller? |
10 |
Grizzlies
 |
Sorry
but I can't look at Gasol without imagining that 10 years
from now one of his neighbors is gonna be on the news saying "But
he seemed like such a nice man." |
11 |
Lakers
 |
Sources have revealed to FiyaStarter that Kobe will make
a huge MVP push in the final three games of the season, as
he plans to score over 150 points in those games. He's also
planning to legally change his name to LeBron James. |
12 |
Bulls
 |
Asked
to comment on his record-tying nine 3's without a miss,
Ben Gordon said, "This is why I should be starting full time." When
told the team has a sub-.400 record with him starting, he thought
for a moment and rebutted "But...I didn't hit nine 3's
in those games we lost." |
13 |
Bucks
 |
Andrew Bogut is just giving us a preview of how good he will
be. I admit that I slept, but you could see glimpses after
the first few weeks of the season. He just needs to play center
or be the first post option. Whichever. |
14 |
Kings
 |
I hope Ron Ron can get Allure to perform the National Anthem
during all their postseason home games. Those girls are talented. |
15 |
Jazz
 |
If Boozer had come back five games earlier, they'd be in
the playoffs, but that just isn't a part of his plan to be
the most hated player in two cities. |
16 |
Pacers
 |
Larry Bird:Rick Carlilse :: George Bush:Donald Rumsfeld |
17 |
Wizards
 |
Gilbert
Arenas needs to change his shampoo, conditioner or some
shit. I'm tired of seeing him act like he don't know what's
goin' on just so he can have an excuse to scratch his nappy
ass head every night. |
19 |
Magic
 |
Dwight Howard will average 15 boards next year. |
20 |
76ers
 |
I think I underestimated how much the role players on this
team want to start their vacations. Iverson is a strong-willed
little guy, but he can't stop Korver, Iggy and Hunter from
conspiring to realize their current Cancun aspirations. |
21 |
Hornets
 |
Responding
to the talk that his job this year has validated him as
an excellent coach, Byron Scott stated "Am
I better now than I was when I took my team to the NBA Finals
two years in a row? Yeah, that's what I thought. Kiss my
ass." |
20 |
Rockets
 |
An
ever-present bad back and now a broken foot. It's sad how
good they could be if they could just stay healthy. |
22 |
Sonics
 |
I wish they'd sign Kemp to play next year. He'd be fun to
talk about and they could bring back the cool jerseys. I swear
this is most boring team in league. |
23 |
Warriors
 |
Can you a imagine how good a roster of Baron Davis, Ike Diogu,
Jason Richardson, Mike Dunleavy, Adonal Foyle, Derek Fisher,
Troy Murphy, Mike Pietrus and Monta Ellis can be? Well, no
need, because as you saw this season, it's not very good. |
24 |
T-Wolves
 |
KG
recently had a conference call with Randy Moss and Daunte
Culpepper. I don't know what they discussed, but it couldn't
have been very good for T-Wolves fans. |
25 |
Celtics
 |
Apparently,
Doc Rivers has been taking classes at the "Van Gundy School
Of Getting Fired." Doc, nobody doubts you love your family
and you wanna spend time with them, but your ass is getting
fired even if you decide you never wanna see them again. |
26 |
Raptors
 |
If
anyone needed more proof that Loren Woods was the
most emotionally disturbed guy in the NBA, they got it
when he recently said that he wants to spend the rest of
his career in Toronto. |
27 |
Hawks
 |
Joe Johnson held a players-only meeting to draw straws on
who gets to date Ciara. The results were confidential, but
I guess we'll find out soon enough. |
28 |
Bobcats
 |
I
wonder if Felton can become the first player to lead the
league in dimes while maintaining the looks of a
14-year old. Him and Paul will battle for this as well. |
29 |
Knicks
 |
Looks like Larry one-upped you, Steph. He pretended to be
hurt, so the team could lose without him, nevermind the fact
that you're still not playing. Larry is a master at finding
a way to get all the credit. Steph, it was a nice try, but
Larry ain't getting paid all that money for nothing. |
30 |
Blazers
 |
|
