FIYA NBA
Rankings #12 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Mavs |
For the first time ever, I can see them winning the title. |
2 |
Suns |
The Suns have three players in the new Nike commercial. That'll be the only title they win this year. |
3 |
Spurs |
They are in a tough spot because they desperately need a trade, but they have no leverage to make one. |
4 |
Jazz |
Larry Miller cursed out AK, too, so I can't say he was being racist toward Booz now. He just don't like nobody messing up his money. |
5 |
Cavs |
LeBron has been doing the same dunk since he was 15 years-old. It's no wonder he's never been in a dunk contest. |
6 |
Wizards |
Perimeter teams don't do shit in the playoffs. Gilbert is a my man and all, but he gonna fold like a single mother in a laundromat come May. |
7 |
Pistons |
Call me crazy, but I just like what Webber brings to this squad. They are gonna kick some ass in the playoffs. |
8 |
Rockets |
Asked to comment on the Nia Long rumors, Yao stated, "We're not dating. I just fucked her. Not a big deal. She's fucked everyone. Now, any questions about basketball?" |
9 |
Lakers |
Kobe's playing like he's being blackmailed or some shit. I don't know what that's about, but I'm nervous. |
10 |
Bulls |
IF they trade ANY of their young players for Gasol's brittle ass, they're ass idiots. |
11 |
Magic |
Get Nelson the fuck outta there!!! |
12 |
T-Wolves |
FINALLY!!! Ricky Dogg done did some shit. He was suspended for a game and the rumors are that he's been causing trouble. It took a year, but he's come around. That's my Ricky. |
13 |
Nuggets |
The next five months will define Allen Iverson has a basketball player. Does his game work or not? I say no. We shall see. (And that doesn't mean Denver has to win a title, plea coppers) |
14 |
Pacers |
For all the people who sent me e-mails saying you've seen the light on Larry Bird, I'd just like to say, "Fuck you.too late." |
15 |
Nets |
R.J. finally caves and has ankle surgery. I guess not being able to perform his lame backwards dunk was starting to get to him. |
16 |
Clippers |
Livingston getting hurt is a blessing. Forces Coach Dumbass to start Cassell. |
17 |
Heat |
Shaq's history of passive-aggressive bullshittin leads me to believe he's letting Wade suffer without him before he saves the day. |
18 |
Raptors |
I'll be honest, I'm scared of this team. They are gonna be good, because TJ is learning how to shoot. |
19 |
Warriors |
Baron hurt again. Shocker. They need to pawn him off on the Celtics while they gotta chance. |
20 |
Knicks |
After getting 26 points and one measly board in a win at Indy, Eddy sat at his locker laughing and eating some of his Mama's peach cobbler from a Tupperware bowl. |
21 |
Hornets |
If Byron gets this team in the playoffs, it's obvious he's one of the three best coaches in the league. |
22 |
Bucks |
Bobby Simmons getting paid all that money to fuck, smoke some weed and play some PS3. |
23 |
Sonics |
Ray Allen will end up on a good team, win a title and be a Hall of Famer. He just has that look about him. He's gonna play at least six more years. |
24 |
Blazers |
Darius Miles peaked when he fucked Scarlett Johannson in her trailer on the set of "The Perfect Score." |
25 |
Hawks |
Marvin Williams breakout season has been interrupted by injuries, a clear position, defensive competence, a consistent jumper and a left hand. |
26 |
Kings |
With a seemingly endless supply of coke and whores, I honestly don't think the Maloofs are really all that upset about this horrible season. |
27 |
76ers |
Iggy is becoming the player we all thought he could be. I think we all know why. |
28 |
Bobcats |
|
29 |
Celtics |
Asked to give the details of his plan for the future, Ainge responded, "Well, I'm just gonna stay white, hope no one notices and wait this thing out." |
30 |
Grizzlies |
I hope West retires before he saddles this team with another softie. |
