FIYA NBA
Rankings #19 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Mavs
 |
If losing to the Suns cost Dirk the MVP with some voters, they didn't wanna vote for him anyway. One game doesn't win or lose the MVP. |
2 |
Suns
 |
Man, fuck that, Nash outplayed Dirk. He won that shit with that game. That dude was incredible. And he hit all the big shots. Three in a row!!!! |
3 |
Spurs
 |
If they had one more scorer, I'd buy it. But, I know they're gonna come up short. |
4 |
Pistons
 |
Remember that lil gray front tooth Webber used to rock back in the day? Man, he got that joint fixed. I knew something wasn't the same about dude. |
5 |
Jazz
 |
Kirilenko needs to take a break from all those threesomes him and his wife be having and rededicate himself to the game. |
6 |
Rockets
 |
Battier got in that Crouching Tiger stance and D'ed Iggy's young ass up. Iggy ain't feel like being bothered with that wavy scalp dude. |
7 |
Cavs
 |
Drew Gooden is still living off his college rep, because I can't believe he makes the money he makes. |
8 |
Bulls
 |
Where is Noci? I'm sure he'll make his presence known in the postseason when he pushes someone into the stands and does his palms-up, shoulders high, "What me?" routine. |
9 |
Heat
 |
When Wade comes back, it'll be interesting to see if he turns into a jump-shooter. |
10 |
Wizards
 |
Tough Juice ain't tough enough to play with a little pain, I see. NOPE!!! He hurt, he ain't injured. |
11 |
Raptors
 |
It's nice watching Garbajosa and Bargnani shoot all those threes when they're on, but when they're not, it's amazing how worthless they are. They look exactly like Rasho. |
12 |
Nuggets
 |
I asked J.R. Smith's agent what kinda contract his client will be looking at and he said, "The only contract I'm worried about is the one I put out on Iverson." |
13 |
Lakers
 |
I think the inevitable conclusion to Elbow-gate will be Kobe going in the stands after a loose ball and catching Stern flush in his nose. |
14 |
Pacers
 |
Danny Granger sure is developing into a fine second round steal. Too bad he was taken in the first round. |
15 |
Nets
 |
Anybody else notice that Nachbar dunks on brothas and lays the ball up over white guys? 'Cism! |
16 |
Hornets
 |
This is the team that has been most set back by injuries. They are a lot better than their record. |
17 |
Warriors
 |
Who will Mullin be trading this summer? |
18 |
Magic
 |
No they ain't tryna play good. If they keep the Knicks out the playoffs, I--- |
19 |
Knicks
 |
Balkman is like Bo Outlaw 3.0. |
20 |
Clippers
 |
|
21 |
Kings
 |
If Wesley Snipes showed up outta nowhere and stabbed Kevin Martin in the hand, I would say "Yeah, that figures." Because that's how much dude reminds me of Christopher Williams. |
22 |
T-Wolves
 |
KG is working hard again to make the playoffs, y'all. All he's gonna do is get his ass scorched for 30ppg by Dirk in the first round and people gonna look at him like, "Why you ain't stop him?" |
23 |
Blazers
 |
Has Zach dunked the ball once this year? |
24 |
Bucks
 |
Bogut's lines are as predictable as padlock combinations. Sometimes, it's 2-7-2 and sometimes you get 22-10-6. You just don't know. |
25 |
76ers
 |
Asked if he worried about being replaced by Larry Brown next year, Mo Cheeks answered, "Yes, because he's a fucking snake! What, did you think I was scared to answer or something?" |
26 |
Hawks
 |
This isn't really a joke, but I can't help laughing every time I imagine Shelden's teammates asking him about Candace Parker and Shelden smiles and says, "Yeah, she got some good ass pussy." |
27 |
Sonics
 |
Nick Collison isn't getting the love he should be getting from the media. They're so enamored with David Lee, they haven't even noticed this white kid. |
28 |
Bobcats
 |
I can't wait to see who that blood-colored sport jacket wearing asshole drafts this June. He looks so damn stupid, dressing like he at the club during press conferences. That's 'cause 'Nita ain't there to look after him. |
29 |
Grizzlies
 |
Rudy Gay is actually becoming fairly consistent. Now, if he'd just get rid of that The Daddy on Moesha haircut of his, I might start to like him. |
30 |
Celtics
 |
Ainge dumb ass got busted for illegal contact with the Durant family. What is up with ex-Celt GMs and ethics? Bird lied to J.O. McHale tried to sign Joe Smith illegally and now Ainge? I don't understand...why the cracker ass media won't address this. |
