FIYA NBA Rankings #23 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Mavs
 |
I'm sorry, but Avery just don't look like the type of nigga that eats his cornbread with a fork. He's clearly a sopper. |
2 |
Spurs
 |
I think Crawford got scared of Duncan's creepy ass face when he was laughing. I know I was. |
3 |
Suns
 |
I hear Shawn Marion is looking to roll out in a couple of years, which will bring an end to the Suns' (i.e. Nash's) Kosraean-like run. |
4 |
Pistons
 |
If Billups gets them to the Finals, Joe D would be a fool to offer him less than 13 per. I wouldn't even run the risk of insulting this dude. |
5 |
Jazz
 |
Don't sleep. Don't sleep. Okur and Deron are two clutch three making dudes. |
6 |
Bulls
 |
It's time for Ben Wallace to earn his money, y'all. |
7 |
Cavs
 |
LeBron has more skills than types of dunks. And that's what makes him special. |
8 |
Raptors
 |
If the 2003 Draft were held today, Chris Bosh's neck would still be long as shit. |
9 |
Rockets
 |
According to a female friend, Bonzi Wells was last seen in a hot tub, crying uncontrollably. "He just said something about losing 38 million and all those rebounds for nothing. I don't know what his problem was," she said. |
10 |
Heat
 |
Zo should get into the Hall on intensity alone. That speech would be great. |
11 |
Nuggets
 |
AI and Melo are gonna put on a postseason show. And JR Smith is gonna be on the bench losing money. |
12 |
Magic
 |
Dwight Howard will get his first taste of the playoffs in a couple of weeks. Next thing on the list: Pussy. |
13 |
Lakers
 |
Overheard in the Lakers locker room: "Phil, you can call me a pussy all you want. I'm getting my money and you're getting exposed without having the two best players in the league all the damn time." |
14 |
Warriors
 |
I want the Warriors in the playoffs, because it makes them look worse when they don't make it, next year. |
15 |
Nets
 |
Answering questions about his chance of returning to the Nets, Vince responded "Right now, I'm just concentrating on the postseason and.I'm not coming back." |
16 |
Clippers
 |
Fire Dunleavy, please. |
17 |
Wizards
 |
No one is more thankful for the Wizards injuries than Eddie Jordan. They were gonna flame out again anyway and everyone knew it. Now he can just point at Gil's knee and say "Nope. You see it." |
18 |
Hornets
 |
More than any other team, this is the one I want to sneak into the top three of the lottery. |
19 |
Pacers
 |
Billy Knight says, "Cap space and a pick? Talk about it, y'all." |
20 |
Kings
 |
|
21 |
Bucks
 |
I keep seeing mocks where this team wouldn't take Oden at one. Get the fuck, I don't believe that. Bogut would get traded. |
22 |
76ers
 |
Iggy has played himself into a second round fantasy pick, next season. |
23 |
Bobcats
 |
The Bobcats are the only team to lose value over the course of the past year. Hmmmm, what else has happened over the past year with them? Hint: Juanita won. |
24 |
Knicks
 |
Asked if he made a mistake giving Isiah Thomas an extension so early, James Dolan stated, "Y'all mad. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I like him and y'all can't deal with it. HAHAHAHAHAHA." |
25 |
T-Wolves
 |
Coming soon to the Lifetime Channel: A Tall Ass Fool In Love, starring Kevin Garnett as a wealthy, but abused wife, who can't bring herself to leave a husband that takes her for granted and beats on her. |
26 |
Blazers
 |
Aldridge has a heart condition, eh? Maybe Curry's heart condition was included in that trade, too. Too bad. |
27 |
Hawks
 |
Commenting on Shelden Williams recent performances, Mike Woodsen said, "I still don't see how double doubles are helping us. We're still losing. And the boy ugly, anyway." |
28 |
Sonics
 |
More country: Chris Wilcox or an old black man eatin' grits on his his wooden front porch at seven in the morning in June? |
29 |
Celtics
 |
I can't wait to see Paul Pierce's face when that pick is not top two. He's gonna look like dumber than he did when he tried to spit on LeBron. NOPE. I remember. |
30 |
Grizzlies
 |
Warrick is my early frontrunner for MIP next year. He's on the verge of putting it together. |
