FIYA NBA
Rankings #9 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Mavs
 |
Josh Howard, I'll see you in Vegas. |
2 |
Spurs
 |
It's not surprising to hear they're interested in Maggette. They need a pure scorer. |
3 |
Suns
 |
Amare's explosion is almost 100% back. Good for the Suns, not good for Timmy.
*PS- Am I the only one that caught Marion with that paint in his head? |
4 |
Jazz
 |
They're a year away, but they will eliminate one of the Big Three in May. It'll be the Mavs. |
5 |
Lakers
 |
Analysts are anticipating a 15% drop in the total number of offensive fouls for all games played while Kwame is out. |
6 |
Bulls
 |
Slowly but surely, coaches and players are deferring to Deng. It's about damn time. |
7 |
Pistons
 |
I hope they make good use of Orlando's draft pick, because they need Darko. They could win it all with Darko. Think about that. It's funny, because it's true. |
8 |
Rockets
 |
If I were Battier's agent, he'd have gotten a Krazy Glue endorsement deal years ago. That's a gimme. |
9 |
Cavs
 |
|
10 |
Nuggets
 |
John Lithgow needs to shut the fuck up and coach. He escaped criticism for that damn "brawl" and now he's co-signing AI's rant against the Sixers. |
11 |
Pacers
 |
How has Stephen Jackson not been caught for weed? |
12 |
Wizards
 |
Caron belongs in the All-Star game. |
13 |
Magic
 |
Aside from putting up empty numbers at a mid-major and garnering sympathy on draft night, what has Nelson done that would lead so many to believe that he is the PG to team with Howard for the next decade? |
14 |
Warriors
 |
Matt Barnes ain't even playing with y'all. Every year there's some scrub who comes out nowhere with this damn look on his face that says "Fuck the bullshit.it's 'bout this money and these bitches. I WANT IT!" Raja Bell had that look before. So did John Starks. Next time you watch Barnes play, I guarantee you will say "dollars and pussy" every time he makes a good play. I do it all the time. |
15 |
Bucks
 |
Ditto for Mo Williams. |
16 |
Clippers
 |
Life gave Mike Dunleavy lemonade and he made a nuclear device and detonated it on the team bus. |
17 |
T-Wolves
 |
When is Ricky Davis gonna fuck up? Obviously, niggas have no problem finding trouble in Minnesota, so what's the deal? |
18 |
Heat
 |
I have this suspicion that Shaq took two months off so he could eat all he wanted during the Holidays. |
19 |
Sonics
 |
Time for Rick Sund to start getting' some of that Worst GM love. He's earned it. |
20 |
Hornets
 |
The only reason to watch is to see who gets hurt next. |
21 |
Kings
 |
Give Ron-Ron and T.O. their own reality show. Make those dudes live together from May until July and just film everything. |
22 |
Nets
 |
The only reason to watch is to is to see Kidd shoot Vince evil glances. Believe me, he does. |
23 |
Raptors
 |
They've done as well as you could ask without Bosh. Now he has to hold up his end and get his ass back on the court. I, er, they need him. |
24 |
Knicks
 |
I'm telling y'all now, before you even get mad: As soon as they take over first in the Atlantic, they are going right into the top 10. I am not even joking. |
25 |
Blazers
 |
Little known facts about Big Zach: He has a stripper pole and disco ball in his Hummer and he has an electronic headband with a built-in clock which counts down the days 'til Vegas to the very second. |
26 |
Hawks
 |
You didn't really read anything into their hot start, did you? I did and I'm ashamed of myself. Joe Johnson ain't that damn good. |
27 |
Celtics
 |
Lil' Gerald got his shot and he tanked. Told you. |
28 |
Bobcats
 |
He's hurt again. Seriously, Gerald "The Tease" Wallace should just play in a fuckin miniskirt, because all he does is flash the goods for a while and then makes guys wait for him. |
29 |
76ers
 |
Asked to comment on Iverson's recent criticism of his coaching ability, Mo Cheeks laughed softly and responded, "Man, I have a ring, so..." |
30 |
Grizzlies
 |
Jay lost. |
