FIYA NBA
Rankings #22 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Celtics
 |
No joke: I gotta give Ainge credit for Leon Powe. He tries really hard every game. |
2 |
Pistons
 |
I cannot wait to see Sheed's eyes widen and teeth protrude for the next two months, after he's whistled for fouls he did and didn't commit. Then, he's gonna top it off with that bad ass bighead lil' black boy walk. You know the one I'm talking about, with the lip smack and "Man, I aint even do nuffin!" disdain for authority? I swear that thing should be a dance, because so many niggas know how to do it. Just set it to music. |
3 |
Lakers
 |
Asked what an NBA title would mean to him, Pau Gasol replied, "Well, I think when I fly to Ibiza this summer, maybe a title would help me get a few more woman to participate in a coked-out orgy with me. So, other than a bit more sex, I dunno." |
4 |
Hornets
 |
Um, I think Chris Paul lost the MVP last week. Deron got at him. Then, he lost to Kobe. Well, he still got the best shape-up. NOPE, MATT BARNES, YOU DON'T EVEN START!!! SHUT UP!!! |
5 |
Spurs
 |
Timmy knees looked hot as hell against the Lakers. He aint wanna be bothered.LMAO!!! He getting old.hahahahahaha. |
6 |
Suns
 |
When your hopes rest on Boris Diaw showing up every night, I think you're pretty much fucked. |
7 |
Jazz
 |
How come every time I look at Ronnie Brewer, I think John Amos can't be far behind, shouting "Junior, fill the damn lane!!!" |
8 |
Rockets
 |
T-Mac is the only NBA superstar not looking forward to the playoffs. Can you blame him? |
9 |
Mavs
 |
Has anyone ever seen Dirk miss a dunk? I haven't. I'm asking because that dude barely makes it to the rim each time he attempts to dunk. |
10 |
Nuggets
 |
I see Karl has rediscovered the magic of JR Smith just in time to make the playoffs. |
11 |
Magic
 |
13-17? I will take that every night, Dwight. Good work, big boy. |
12 |
Warriors
 |
If The Big Boss Ricky Ross let Baron wear his chain, I bet you no one would blink. |
13 |
Raptors
 |
After watching little sister Candace continue being more famous and successful than him, Anthony told reporters, "Well, I'm proud of my sister, but she and Shelden gonna have some really tall ugly ass kids. So, I'mma win that battle." |
14 |
Cavs
 |
LeBron makes me tired when I watch him. Young fella is working too hard. |
15 |
Wizards
 |
Angered by his declining appeal in DC, Gilbert Arenas expressed his doubt that Alexander Ovechkin has surpassed him as the city's favorite athlete. Speaking to a stunned crowd of reporters, an agitated Arenas rambled, "Put it like this: I can fuck black, white, brown.whatever! I'm dicking down all types of bitches. Can he say the same? Aint no sistas gonna fuck that dude, man. He can't even fuck some white girls I fuck. So, how can you say he's more popular than me?" |
16 |
76ers
 |
Andre Miller just oughtta stay in Philly. |
17 |
Pacers
 |
If I had to guess, I'd say Marquis Daniels is one of the dozen or so guys in the league who still eats pickled pig feet. |
18 |
Hawks
 |
Sad but legit question: Will Acie Law have a better career than Acie Earl. |
19 |
Nets
 |
Determined to put an end to rumors that he's gay, Richard Jefferson revealed that he's a woman. Said RJ: "How can I be gay if I like men? I'm supposed to like men. It doesn't even make sense. Are people that narrow-minded?" |
20 |
Blazers
 |
Damn, I finally figured out what Greg Oden's fucked up fauxhawk looked like. You know them Roman soldier helmets? Them joints. I could not get that damn joke together a month ago. SHIT! |
21 |
Bulls
 |
He aint been getting Noah love all season, so don't try to Joakim now. *asshole smile* |
22 |
Bobcats
 |
Commenting on his rehab, an upbeat Sean May stated, "Food." |
23 |
Bucks
 |
Mo Williams is ruining some poor guy's life. I'm glad I saw this coming and picked up Arenas. |
24 |
Kings
 |
Quincy Douby got that black Arab look about him. I know he be getting dominated at the Airport. |
25 |
Clippers
 |
Elton's just picking up where he left off. I'm interested to see what he does this offseason. |
26 |
Knicks
 |
If anyone needs a reality show it's Nate Robinson and Eddy Curry. Damn, I know Nate would be carrying the shit out that big ass dude. |
27 |
Sonics
 |
Durant and Green are gonna be some real ass-kickers. |
28 |
Grizzlies
 |
|
29 |
T-Wolves
 |
I know Foye aint try to have some sense after I dropped him in like five leagues? I hate this bugged eyed lil bamma. |
30 |
Heat
 |
D-Wade aint doing shit but planning him some parties for Niggafest next month. Well, call me Mike McDonald, D-Dub, 'cause YAMO BE THERE! |
