FIYA NBA
Rankings #5 |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Lakers
 |
Maybe people, LeBron has surpassed Kobe as the best in the world because Kobe can hit a plain ol' 18 footer with much more frequency than 'Bron can. Make sense? |
2 |
Celtics
 |
It should bother the other contenders that they are RESTING while winning these games. |
3 |
Cavs
 |
Bron won a lotta points with me for calling Barkley "stupid." Still, I wish he had administered all the ether like Iverson did and mentioned him spitting on little kids and throwing people outta windows. |
4 |
Magic
 |
Battie's a nice guy and all, but they'd better draft another big to back Howard. |
5 |
Rockets
 |
Mac should shut it down until playoffs. Why hasn't anyone considered this? |
6 |
Blazers
 |
Even if Brandon Roy wore a tux as a uniform, he couldn't look more elegant playing basketball. |
7 |
Nuggets
 |
I can't believe Billups is gonna save Karl's job. |
8 |
Pistons
 |
How Kwame Brown show up ready to practice and you don't? Shit like that don't exactly inspire dudes to follow you. |
9 |
Suns
 |
Old. And Amare is right. |
10 |
Jazz
 |
I know Sloan notices Milsap playing well in Boozer's spot. Watch this situation at the deadline. |
11 |
Hawks
 |
|
12 |
Raptors
 |
J.O.'s knee joins Mac's back and Maggette's hammy as the most dominant injuries in basketball. |
13 |
Hornets
 |
Paul's bad games remind me of Jason Kidd. |
14 |
Spurs
 |
Between Bowen, Mason, Manu, Oberto and Hill, this team is overloaded with intangibles. |
15 |
Nets
 |
I think we can safely remove Devin Harris from the list of dudes that will never make good on their potential. |
16 |
Knicks
 |
Looks like Duhon may be more than just a stop-gap. |
17 |
Mavs
 |
Well, they'll be drafting a PG. |
18 |
Heat
 |
Okay, I'm starting to worry about Beasley. He's average. |
19 |
Bulls
 |
I dunno what's going on over in Africa that's got Deng's mind all fucked up, but he needs to focus on America. |
20 |
76ers
 |
Andre Miller is depressingly sorry. |
21 |
Pacers
 |
Lemme get this straight: All the bad picks and trades were on Walsh, but Bird gets credit for Danny Granger? White Media, you've done it again. Great job. Now, everyone believes this. |
22 |
Bucks
 |
With Redd back in the fold, The Buck are still sorry. |
23 |
Warriors
 |
For my next trick, I will attempt to make the greatest understatement of all-time.
*Brief Silence*
The Golden State Warriors
*suspense*
sure do give up a lot of points. AMAZING! Thank you! |
24 |
Timberwolves
 |
Al and Love are gonna be a great duo. They still shoulda kept Mayo. |
25 |
Kings
 |
What's with the Hawes hype? Just because he's not a total stiff, that don't mean he should be getting compared to Oden. Oh, I've seen it. I got no reason to lie. |
26 |
Clippers
 |
Dunleavy is feeling the heat. Good. |
27 |
Grizzlies
 |
Mayo is gonna have the highest rookie scoring average since AI. That's amazing. |
28 |
Bobcats
 |
If a deal with Minne for McCants turns into more than just a rumor, Stern needs to take that fuckin franchise from them. |
29 |
Thunder
 |
They finally moved Durant to SF and he's finally acting like he got some damned sense. |
30 |
Wizards
 |
I bet Gil feels like a dude whose ex admitted she fucked up and is begging to come back. That's a good feeling. |
