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NFL FIYA 2006 Awards
by: Arson Palmer for Sports

Forget those other awards, these matter more.

Offensive MVP: LaDanian Tomlinson, RB

Yeah, yeah, he scored sixteen TD's a game. Wonderful. He gets the big trophy. Great. Now, lets move on.

Runner Up: Drew Brees, QB

I'll be the first to admit, I thought his season with the Chargers, last year was due to him:
a) playing with the best back in football, and more importantly
b) wanting his damn free-agent money.

But you'd be a fool to not respect what he did this year. Now, New Orleans wasn't as bad as many made them out to be at the beginning of the season, but scar-face played his ass off. He threw for almost a G more than he did, last season and even out-gained Padding Manning. He also made a star out of two rookies that still had the smell of talcum powder on their asses. Great season, scar.

Defensive MVP: Brian Dawkins, S

If you wanna see Jason Taylor, go rent that last Madea movie and squint until dude with the worst fro in movie history looks like him, because you won't see him here. Nor will you see Roid-backer. After an asskicking at Indy, Brian Dawkins put the Eagles on his back despite Nabbs goin down and turned them back into a defensive football team. Regardless of what the stats say, Philly got back to basics. In two of the biggest games of the season for his team, B-Dawk had two picks and two forced fumbles against the Giants and Cowboys in wins. Every time you saw that Knight Rider visor it was flying to the ball, throwing itself around like stunt-doll on a Naked Gun movie set.

...plus that unnecessary ass flying tackle against the Giants made me laugh.

Runner Up: Chump Bailey, CB

Hahahahahaha, they kept throwing to his side. He kept catching them shits, hahahahahahaha!

Coach of the Year: Sean Payton

Everyone thought that New Orleans story was cute until about Thanksgiving, when those wins started making all the teams that were picked to win, look like bums. Payton did an incredible job of mixing up the packages and keeping both Deuce and Bush on the field enough to both be effective. He also had to work with an injured-at-times receiving corp, that wasn't exactly the Rams to begin with. Fighting off Carolina and Atlanta was impressive, but when he kicked Parcells all in the ass on national television, it was a wrap.

Runner Up: Eric Mangini

Well, the Jets had a weak schedule, but so do most teams that suck the year before. Most of them don't get to the playoffs though. He didn't have so much of a different roster either. Penguin just made those guys believe. If he keeps this up, Tim Robbins is gonna be out of a fuckin job.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Vince Young, QB

Jesus Feet, 2006. Anyone that doesn't have him as the offensive rookie of the year or sportsman of the year, for that matter, spit on their bitch ass. Ain't no "LOL's." I'm not laughing, Merrill.

Runner Up: Joseph Addai

The boy got a thousand yards rushing off the bench. What kind of early 90's Kansas City Chiefs shit is that?

Defensive Rookie of the Year: DeMeco Ryans, LB

The fact that he even came close to Zach Thomas in tackles, makes him a lock. I'm actually more impressed with how he stayed on the field, considering his offense kept him there.

Runner Up: Mark Anderson, LB

The nigga had 12 sacks. I mean, you can ignore it if you want, but that's 12 fuckin sacks, people.

Comeback Player of the Year: Javon Walker, WR

.and he thanks Bret Favre for the opportunity...Seriously, his knee was Shredded Wheat a few months ago and he was chicken noodle soupin on DB's, this year.

Runner Up: Chad Pennington, QB

I make a lot of fun of paper mache arm, but he really had a great year.considering most of those yards were after 5-yard outs---no, I'm not going to cheap shot, Chad. Congrats man. Now do it again against a second place schedule.

NFL 2006 All Pro Team

First Team FIYA Offense
QB	Drew Brees
RB	LaDanian Tomlinson
FB	Lorenzo Neal
TE	Antonio Gates
WR	Chad Johnson, Steve Smith
OL	Half of San Diego's, half of Kansas City's
First Team FIYA Defense
DE	Jason Taylor, Julius Peppers
DL (no Romo)	Tommie Harris, Jamal Williams
LB	Damarcus Ware, Shawne Merriman
CB	Chump Bailey, Rashean Mathis
S	Brian Dawkins, Ed Reed
Special Teams
Devin Hester