49ers
– C-
Key Player(s) acquired: Alex Smith - QB, Frank Gore - RB
The QB kid doesn’t impress me, but they needed one,
I guess. I like Gore, but they drafted him too high. The
boy got knees like Broadway Joe... Got a lineman, they only
need like 4 more of those now, right?
|
Dolphins
– C
Key Player(s) acquired: Ronnie Brown - RB
Ronnie Brown looks like the real deal, but that offense
will be sorry, yet again. There’s no QB or receiver
to spread the field. This boy gonna get beat up like Dusty
Rhodes in the mid 80’s.
|
Browns
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: Braylon Edwards - WR
Edwards and Winslow are going to be Asshole Inc. when/if
they get out on the same field together. Dilfer ain’t
the worst QB in the world either… he’s just
nowhere near the best. Charlie Frye was a good pick. Romeo
got a safety and he knows defense, so I trust his judgment
there.
|
Bears
– C
Key Player(s) acquired: Cedric Benson - RB, Kyle Orton -
QB
I liked Ceddy Benson a lot more before I heard him speak.
Good runner, but he looks and sounds crazy. It just seemed
like I was watching a flashback to Demetrius Underwood while
watching the boy. Maybe the young man was just overwhelmed.
In any event he looked as unstable as Al Rocher’s
metabolism. Kyle Orton was a good pick, although I think
Grossman ain’t that bad. Bradley was taken too high.
|
Buccaneers
– B-
Key Player(s) acquired: Carnell Williams - RB
Gave them a B simply because they didn’t draft a QB.
Caddy-lack may or may not be good, but drafting a QB would
have been the dumbest thing they coulda done. They have
two decent ones.
|
Titans
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: “Pacman” Jones - CB
That Pacman! I like this guy. He’s a grade A dichead.
He should have went to Miami. He better be on Mad Sports
in the next two weeks. Tit’s got a lineman too. Maybe
Steve wont get knocked in the head as much next year.
|
Vikings
– A+
Key Player(s) acquired: Troy Williamson - WR, Erasmus James
- DE
They’re going to the damn show next year barring an
injury to Pep. Williamson is fast (he better be, they picked
his ass over Ill Mike Will) and James is going to make that
defense… *gasp* scary?
|
Cardinals
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: Antrel Rolle - CB
Got the best corner in the draft and they needed him. Denny
gonna have the offense straight. Arrington seemed like a
force because they don’t look like they’re getting
Henry from Buffalo.
|
Redskins
– D
Key Player(s) acquired: Carlos Rogers - CB
LMAO, I was in a room fulla Skins fans when Mike Will was
on the board and they were cheering. That is until it was
about 5 minutes left on the clock and he still hadn’t
gotten picked. Rogers does address a need so they ain’t
getting an F, but look at it this way, they traded Champ
Bailey and like a 1,2,3 & 5 for Clinton Portis and Jason
Campbell, LMAO. Them Skins!
|
Lions
– A
Key Player(s) acquired: Mike Williams – WR, Stanley
Wilson - CB
Needed defense and they got some later, but they couldn’t
pass up on Williams. Dunno how they gonna stop anybody,
but that offense is gonna be a fucking beast on Madden ‘06.
|
Cowboys
– C
Key Player(s) acquired: Marcus Spears – DE, Demarcus
Ware - DE
Merriman was a better pick than Ware. Small school guy didn’t
impress me that much. The Spears pick, I liked though.
|
Chargers
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: Shawne Merriman LB
They needed a playmaker and probably could have moved up
to get one, but from their pick and what was on the board,
Merriman was wonderful. Marty making that defense good,
quick.
|
Saints
– B+++++++++++
Key Player(s) acquired: Adrian McPherson – QB
Drafted McPherson. Damn! As in, Damn shame Aaron Brooks
is gonna be the casualty, but umm, that’s too bad.
Baby & Mannie Fresh are having A-Mac’s Cash Money
Millionaires custom chain and matching Ferrari made as we
speak.
|
Panthers
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: Eric Shelton - RB
They needed another RB. Shelton was a good pick. The ones
they have are injury prone and/or old. Newsflash: **John
Fox likes defense**
|
Chiefs
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: Derrick Johnson - LB
What is with the Chiefs affinity for FSU WR’s?...
They didn’t have to trade up to get Derrick Johnson.
They need DB’s though, like 15 of ‘em.
|
Texans
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: Travis Johnson - DT
FSU D-Lineman, can’t go wrong there, and they need
help damn near everywhere. I like that Hampton receiver
too.
|
Bengals
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: David Pollack – DE, Odell
Thurman - LB
Marv getting that defense ready. They gonna fuck people
up and get the ball back for Chad.
|
Rams
– C
Key Player(s) acquired: Alex Barron – OT, Ronald Bartell
– CB
This shit could be an A if Bartell pans out. (H-UUUUUUUUUU!)They
still need more defense and their time is running out, (umm,
probably ran out) so they took a gamble here. Kurt Warner
is on line two, asking where that O-lineman pick was three
years ago.
|
Jags
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: Matt Jones – WR, Khalif Barnes
- OT
They got a lineman and a freak azz white boy to help that
‘Wich out. That’s alright.
|
Ravens
– A
Key Player(s) acquired: Mark Clayton – WR, Dan Cody
- DE
Clayton adds onto a great offensive off-season. Cody was
a steal and for this system it’s gonna sure look that
way. Boy if they had a QB, id be scared. Damn if only they
got McPherson…
|
Raiders
– B-
Key Player(s) acquired: Fabian Washington – CB, Stanford
Routt - CB
Hard to evaluate this, but clearly it’s because they’re
about to punt Woodson. Letting two Corners go is dumb and
Redskin-like, but it’s what they do and if you’re
gonna do it, at least brace yourself for the stupid doing.
|
Packers
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: Aaron Rodgers - QB
Needed more DB help, but pil-poppin Favre is gone in a minute
and Rogers was a slam dunk. I loved seeing that guy stew
in his seat for 3 hours though. That was great television.
He’s gonna fuck around and be Tom Brady… nah,
but really it was funny stuff.
|
Seahawks
– D
Key Player(s) acquired: Lofa Tatupu - LB
Not one impact player and they took Tatupu too high. Fire
Holmgren now, please. |
Broncos
– A
Key Player(s) acquired: Maurice Clarett - RB
Mo ‘Rett baby! He’s gonna get 1300 yards between
now and the '08 and I’m gonna be right there smiling
giving him a standing O like Big Game Holt did on Draft
day. Take that OSU.
|
Falcons
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: Roddy White – WR
Rod Roddy better be the goods as far as stretching that
field. Price clearly can’t. Vick need some help to
take people’s minds off his Kobe-like off-season.
Their defense got better, too.
|
Colts
– A
Key Player(s) acquired: Marlin Jackson - CB
What did Marlin Jackson say to Dungy when Tony told him
he needed some DB’s in Indy? “I’ll
be theeeeeeere.” *drumroll*
|
Steelers
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: Heath Miller - TE
They didn’t need much, but filled holes. I see they
snatched another receiving option to help out the void left
by Plax.
|
Eagles
– B
Key Player(s) acquired: Reggie Brown - WR
Man, I’m just giving them a B. That’s too many
picks to evaluate. I ain’t look through all that shit.
|
Pats
– A
Key Player(s) acquired: ALL OF ‘EM
Robochek don’t fuck up on draft day. He’d self
destruct or something if he did.
|
Jets
– B+
Key Player(s) acquired: Mike Nugent - K
LMAO, they needed a kicker. Them FG’s were like watching
A No Limit movie, you just wanted to see how bad it was
gonna be, but the point is you knew it was gonna be bad.
Hahahaha, Round 2, they weren’t playin. Herm was mad,
hahahahahaha!
|
Giants
– D+
Key Player(s) acquired: Justin Tuck - DE
Still can’t believe they gave up this #1, last year
for Eli, too. They got hosed, Timmy.
|
