FIYA NFL
Rankings
**Week 5** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Giants
 |
When I emailed the league asking them why David Carr's one pass for a touchdown against the Seahawks didn't give him a perfect passer rating for the day, they responded with: "Because he's David Carr, Einstein." |
2 |
Titans
 |
Ya know, at some point you've just gotta laugh at how ridiculous this whole thing has gotten. I would advise anyone that hates Merril Hoge to do what I'm doing and just wait on it. Sponge Hoge Square Suit is winning right now and it aint shit we can do. |
3 |
Redskins
 |
Ballsy calls by Coach Zorn down the stretch of his first set of games has DC largely Jockin J-Z…mad? |
4 |
Steelers
 |
Is it just me or does it seem like the Big Ben gets hurt every week, then leads his team to victory all on Sunday night? |
5 |
Cowboys
 |
I dunno which was more amazing to watch, T.O.'s blazing speed down the sideline or his post game nonsensical Christiany rant. |
6 |
Panthers
 |
Arson challenges the Panther backfield and one of them answers. You're welcome, Carolina fans. *See last week |
7 |
Broncos
 |
It may look like a shaky 16-13 win against the Buccs, but that's a tough win against a good defense. |
8 |
Bills
 |
I was gonna blame the loss on Lossman and…shit I still am, but that pass to my nigga Lee Evans was the prettiest thing I've seen since I caught a glimpse of Mel B. poolside in Vegas last weekend. |
9 |
Patriots
 |
See what getting the ball to your best player gets you? Yup, a win. |
10 |
Bears
 |
If I were a betting man, I'd put money on Hester returning a kick next week after the Monday night Reggie Bush had. He hasn't come this far to be Reggie's Dante Hall. |
11 |
Buccaneers
 |
Have I mentioned that I've never seen Warrick Dunn and Dwayne Wade in the same place at the same time? I think I did too. |
12 |
Jets
 |
Ok, has anyone else seen the commercial for the Memorial Brett Favre coin set? This nigga is getting World Trade Center type accolades! Does the dickriding have no end? |
13 |
Eagles
 |
That's twice in two weeks, Coach Chico Stick mustache has screwed up on the goal line. He owes the city of Brotherly Thugs an apology for this atrocious play calling. |
14 |
Cardinals
 |
Kurt Warner: Baby, I think I'm gonna quit. I almost got that boy killed.
Brenda Warner: The Lord has blessed you with working knees, plus we got tithes to pay. You should rethink it.
Kurt Warner: Well, it does look like Anquan is gonna live. I think I will stay.
BoozGotPaid: Damn, these fat ass checks still coming in, hahahahahahahaha! |
15 |
Ravens
 |
Tough break for Flacc Joe, but I put this one on the defense. When it mattered most, they let Merril Hoge's Lord and Savior march Tennessee down the field and go up in the clutch. |
16 |
Jaguars
 |
After 38 yards rushing, I'm not sure how Jacksonville was even in that Pittsburgh game. |
17 |
Chargers
 |
Who you got crying first, Ladanian or the people who own him in fantasy? |
18 |
Colts
 |
They lucked up something Godlike, but this team looks old. Let's see what they do against a team with a QB that isn't brain-dead. |
19 |
Vikings
 |
Too bad Minny's big win was overshadowed by the actions of the bonehead Ed Hockuley. But things could always be worse; Hock could have made the correct calls and the Vikings could have lost like they deserved to. |
20 |
Saints
 |
Know what? Reggie Bush may never be a "running back" in this league, but I'm good with that if he has the potential to drop 14 points a game. I mean, the object is scoring right? Who cares how you do it? |
21 |
Dolphins
 |
Lakers guard Sun Yue has competition for greatest name in sports. Apparently the 'Fins have a WR named Davone Bess or D. Bess. Yes, and he plays for Miami! You can't make that up. |
22 |
Falcons
 |
|
23 |
Packers
 |
Aaron Rodgers has to be approaching that level of loneliness he felt in that green room about mid first round on draft day. |
24 |
49ers
 |
I'ma give this O'Sullivan train a few more weeks. He still threw three TD's. |
25 |
Seahawks
 |
Seattle fans cited their team's bad luck on the East Coast, while Giants fans cited New York doesn't give a fuck because they've played the Seahawks in Seattle every season for the past 18 years. |
26 |
Browns
 |
Coach Cronell started his preparation for the Browns next game against the World Champion Giants by taking a cross country trip with Dennis Green in search of the best BBQ in the Midwest. Personally, I don't understand how this is gonna help his team, but whatever, I'm not an NFL coach. |
27 |
Chiefs
 |
Larry Johnson: seven carries for two yards. WoW, that's so bad, grammar rules wouldn't even allow me to use numbers. |
28 |
Raiders
 |
Watch out McHale, Al Davis has some fine looking cable sweaters in his closet. |
29 |
Bengals
 |
Where the hell is Chad Johnson? No one has fallen off this quick since his cousin Sheshawn. |
30 |
Texans
 |
This is why Jews usually own the teams and brothers usually play for them…dunno how it's possible to feel good and terrible after saying something, but it just happened. |
31 |
Lions
 |
LMAO! Roy kicked that ball cause he aint having fun. Hahahahahaha! |
32 |
Rams
 |
The Rams suck and Nelly bombed. The 90's seem like a distant memory don't they St. Louis? |
