FIYA NFL
Rankings
**Week 6** |
Rank |
Team |
FIYA Analysis |
1 |
Titans
 |
The Titans had another player "scare" this past week. When LenDale White couldn't be reached by teammates and officials, Coach Fisher drove over to White's house and found the third year pro in his living room with a lobster bib on eating ribs. After his relief wore off, Fisher barked at LenDale asking him why he hadn't been answering his phone, to which he answered, "Because I had sauce on my hands, Coach. That's disgusting." |
2 |
Steelers
 |
It seems the only the way to ensure the Steelers don't get a Sunday night game is to give them a bye. |
3 |
Giants
 |
The Giants completed the "dominant NFC-East" trifecta by becoming the third of it's mighty teams to lose to a JV squad. |
4 |
Bills
 |
Goddamn Darryl Talley was ugly. Boy is he lucky he could play some football. Those looks had hotdog vendor written all over them. |
5 |
Buccaneers
 |
Commit to a QB and stay with him Chucky. This going back and forth may look like the answer now, but it never worked for Joey on Dawson's Creek, so just how do you think it'll end for you? |
6 |
Redskins
 |
"You take away those turnovers and we win that game," says Skins fan. Well, same goes for the four turnover-prone teams you beat, master over lookers. |
7 |
Cardinals
 |
The first quarter of that Cowboys game featured more fumbles than the first night of Co-ed visitation in a male Freshman dorm. |
8 |
Cowboys
 |
I'm not gonna address all the injuries, suspensions and moves in Dallas because there's no way to keep that list up to date, so I'll talk some more about T.O. That outfit wouldn't have been that bad had it not been for those dumb ass sunglasses. White frames are reserved for Elton, Kanye and prop comics. He looked like a grown ass Stevie Wonder at The Apollo. Having said that, I agree with Terrell for cursing his O-line out. They were trying to get Romo killed---and almost succeeded. |
9 |
Panthers
 |
The annual inexplicable "WTF?" game by Carolina. Always on time. |
10 |
Jets
 |
I know the Pats beat them, but these two squads are a perfect example of teams going in opposite directions. The NY Bretts offense looks like a well oiled machine, while the old and creaky Pats look like they just need a drum of oil. |
11 |
Jaguars
 |
We're not gonna turn this weeks Rankings into a fashion commentary, but let's be reality, that hat big Dave broke out was thurl as Thurl Bailey. Don't rush back, Tom, Dave got this. |
12 |
Colts
 |
Thanks to two teams giving them a second life, they're back. |
13 |
Eagles
 |
Despite the final score, Philly's offense is still sputtering in the redzone. Donovan will take it though. |
14 |
Broncos
 |
Cutler…discuss. |
15 |
Chargers
 |
Talent aside, don't you just wanna open hand slap Philip Rivers one good time? |
16 |
Falcons
 |
Ok, that was the game Atlanta gained all of our respect…which means they're due to lose next week. |
17 |
Bears
 |
Heard anything from Brian Urlacher, this year? Me either. It's early though. |
18 |
Saints
 |
Well, since they started it on MNF, last week, let's revisit it; Reggie Bush and A.D. Peterson. Pass receiving make Reggie the better player, right now. |
19 |
Vikings
 |
NOOOOOOOOPE. |
20 |
Packers
 |
I see Ryan Grant got back from shopping. |
21 |
Patriots
 |
Someone needs to E-mail a clip of that big ass jump ball Larry Fitzgeezy caught in the Dallas game to Matt Cassel with the subject: "NIGGA, DO THIS!" |
22 |
Ravens
 |
Someone turn Chris McAlister over, he's still toasted on one side. |
23 |
Browns
 |
You just knew Derek Anderson was going to have his best game of the season after Brady Quinn showed up to that John McCain rally. Everything that guy associates himself with is an L. McCain too. |
24 |
Dolphins
 |
I don't want to hear anything else about a Wildcat for the next three months unless we're talking Goldie Hawn. |
25 |
49ers
 |
I'm not sure who threw a worse set of pics last weekend, J.T. or Eli. They were all pretty damn bad. |
26 |
Texans
 |
Considering he went to "The U" Andre Johnson has got to be the most anti-Hurricane with a productive career ever. Nothing about him says asshole. Amazing. |
27 |
Rams
 |
Great win by the defense. That offense though is as embarrassing as a tabloid published crotch shot. |
28 |
Seahawks
 |
I'm glad they got rid of Alexander so they couldn't blame this on him. Chico-stick mustache man #2, it's all yours, brother. |
29 |
Chiefs
 |
At 1-4 you would think Herm-Dogg spent the week off preparing for the undefeated Titans, but that's why you are a dumbass. I knew that nigga was headed straight to the Loews on Collins with five linen suits and two pairs of sandals. |
30 |
Raiders
 |
At least the offense scored points with Kiffin calling the plays. |
31 |
Bengals
 |
Arson's Fiya Prediction Of The Week: Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones will fight in a pit full of scorpions, next Spring, for the right to give the football player, formerly known as Chad Johnson The Lost Treasure of The Seven Seas. |
32 |
Lions
 |
Greatest
-
Safety
-
Ever!
With comedy like that, when Dan Orlovsky eventually gets cut, his agent has an unbeatable reel to get him the gig as the next Dorf.
|
