Best Dunkers in the World
by: Linwood Jenkins, for Sports

After the laughable listing of dunkers rated by HoopsDimeTV magazine or whoever put the crap out, I figured I’d get my ESPN on and bring you the real top 14 dunkers in the world. This ranking is the result of a meticulous search based on hours of research from live games, VHS & Tivo’d basketball footage. This should be the first and last list you acknowledge (well, until we update it).

1. Vince Carter
   Fiya dunk = Fred Weiss leapfrog
   C ’mon, I know people want change more than a homeless man begging in Penn Station, but lets be honest here. Vince is the undisputed king; true story, end of story. The creativity… The flare… The dude courtside in Oakland with his mouth still open after the “elbow dunk.” Do you remember Fred Weiss, the 7’14 dude he dunked on in the Olympics? He leap frogged him like he was auditioning for a Kid ‘N’ Play video. I still remember KG’s reaction. He was trying to process what had just happened but his brain couldn’t work fast enough, so he just pushed VC and cursed him out. ‘Sanity may not bang on people as he once did, but he’s still Vince. You saw that All Star Game dunk. Until he hits 39, maybe, nobody will be close to the guy. Best dunker ever. Yup ever, he woulda mopped the floor with Jordan… Actually I had one hope for the ultimate dunk showdown. :segue:
   
   
2. James White
   Fiya dunk = Foul line legs kicking like a fish - dunk
   You may or may have not heard of him and the way it’s looking now you may never, but once upon a time (three years or so ago) this current Junior G/F for the University of Cincinnati, was the future of dunk. I saw the kid when he was an 11th grader playing AAU ball. Everyone it the gym stood up after his first dunk in warm-ups. He was doing things I’ve only seen on video games. I’m not talking NBA Jam either, I’m talking Super Mario Brothers, like when you hold down the B-button and the princess floats halfway across the screen. That type shit. He dunked with two-hands then one, from the foul line, at 17-years-old! During the actual game, James caught an oop where he did that pause thing only one in a million dunkers can do. You know the MJ, VC, pre-backyotomy LJ pause thing. He posed for pictures and grabbed a hotdog before he put it down. Please, somebody draft this guy. All we want is one dunk contest for vindication, just one.
   
   
3. Kobe Bryant
   Fiya dunk = Spreescrew © dunk
   The Bean been hurt for about a month and he still has two or three of the top dunks of the year, so what does that tell you? Dwight Howard won’t disagree, that’s for sure. Tell me, when you see Kobe on the wing and the double team doesn’t come, don’t you just expect to see a Spreescrew ©? You know that dunk named after the one he banged on Latrell Spreewell’s head a few years ago. The one where he goes baseline and reverse pikes it with one hand then looks at the ball fall like it’s the Colorado D.A.? Yeah, that dunk. I’m more shocked when it doesn’t happen.
   
   
4. Tracy McGrady
   Fiya dunk = Bounced off the backboard, Chuck Person Bulls vs. Blazers - dunk
   Tisk, tisk, how soon some have forgotten. But one half of the fantastic monkey cousins seems to be just that; a forgotten man in the world of dunk. Please, wake up, people. A guy who successfully throws the ball off the backboard during a regular season game is automatically on the list. Don’t let Jeff Van Gundy’s snoozeffense fool you, long arms + hops and no on court tact = an elite dunker.
   
   
5. Josh/J.R. Smith
   Fiya dunk = J.R. Rider’esque one hand dunk (Oop or running start; optional)
   Have you ever seen these dudes in the same place before? I haven’t. Well, maybe I have but I’m pretty sure it’s done with mirrors like that old cartoon Jem. (So?) I really think they’re the same person. When Agent Smith is supposed to be Josh he just puts lifts in his shoes to make him 6’9, then following the game he takes them out to become J.R. Seriously, I see them do the same type of dunks every time I turn on the tube. It’s that one-handed dunk that everybody in the room says “Aww shit” in unison to, when they see it coming. I’m telling you, it's one guy. The lifts and the mirrors have almost everyone fooled. I think I just broke a story, folks.
   
   
6. Lebron James
   Fiya dunk = Damon Jones
   Let’s be honest, Lebron only has three dunks; the reverse on the break, the signature one-handed joint on the break and now the Damon Jones dunk. What the hell was Damon thinking? He’s getting too much sun down in Miami or something. Ok, if I’m on the break, I’m 6’2, Lebron James is coming at me and I just saw David Stern unbutton his tie out of the corner of my eye, I’m stepping in the name of love, for my pride out of the damn way. I don’t want no part of that highlight reel package my grandkids are gonna see. Damon got Pat Ewing’d up quick and for what? But anyway, that Lebron can jump real high. Him and Kenyon Martin got that pogo stick leg thing goin’ on; no running start needed.
   
   
7. Dwyane Wade
   Fiya dunk = Baseline one handed dunk on generic 6’9 dude’s neck - dunk
   I want to enjoy this guy as much as I can right now. The way he has no regard for his body or gravity on the floor may indicate he might not be doing this for very long, if he keeps it up. Who won’t D-Wade dunk on? That is the question. He’s a lunatic. I wouldn’t trust him with no plutonium, but I’d trust him to embarrass someone at least once a week (not including crossovers *coming soon*).
   
   
8. Isma'il Muhammad
   Fiya dunk = Flying in from the Georgia Tech student union - dunk
   Isma'il reminds me a lot of Vince at Carolina. Before Vince figured out Dean Smith wasn’t gonna give him any tick if he didn’t play defense, he would make the most of his 7-minutes per game. VC would get his big dunk on Tim Duncan or whoever, scream, then sit down next to Bill Guthridge for the rest of the game. Muhammad actually plays good defense, but the point is he’s a highlight machine. A spot highlight machine to be exact, in that you find yourself just waiting for him to get that one big dunk during a game. Jarrett Jack is one of the best players in America, but when I’m watching Tech, I’m waiting for Muhammad to make an opponent and the ball his woman. He’s got that raw power all these finesse dunkers don’t want to bother with. Every time he dunks, I just know Kenny Walker is somewhere smiling.
   
   
9. Jason Richardson
   Fiya dunk = The great grab-bag of windmills
   Dominique is forever the king of windmills, but Jason is his adopted son. His Willis Jackson, if you will. He does them in so many different ways you just raise your eyebrow and murmur to yourself, “hey, another one.” I’ve concluded that Jasons arms are really propellers. Most mortal’s collarbones would evaporate if they had to rotate that way. That’s how he takes his dunks to that next level. I’ve peeped sometimes he’s actually on his way down, but then those propellers fly in and save the day. I’m willing to bet a dollar through a donut hole that J-Rich was a good breakdancer, back in the day. If he grew up in NYC he woulda been down with them Rock Steady dudes, for sure.
   
   
10. Amare Stoudamire
    Fiya dunk = Any loose ball that comes off the glass - dunk
    Congrats Amare, you made it on the list as a tall guy. Tall guys aren’t supposed to make dunk lists, because it’s like, “Ok you can dunk, great, you’re as tall as the goal, I can reach the good cereal in the supermarket, crown me too.” But we just couldn’t leave Amare off the list, he dunks too much. No check that, he dunks hard too much. He dunked like 15 times in one game earlier this season. They weren’t those Richard Jefferson; get there, then let go of the ball, dunks either. They were those Shawn Kemp; gotta impress these bitches to get these babies, dunks. As the newscaster just reeled them off back to back to back to back, I didn’t understand why it was so necessary for all that rim abuse. Why Amare, why?!
    
    
11. Steve Francis
    Fiya dunk = One-handed Tacoma Park tomahawk
    Yeah, we’ve all heard it; if it wasn’t for Vince he would have won that dunk contest. I guess, but that’s like saying, if it wasn’t for Tang and Sunny Delight, Tampico would’ve cornered the market on orange drink two decades ago. Having said that, Stevie got hops, explosive hops. You can just see him at the top of the key going between his legs sometimes, and it’s like a stock car starting its engine waiting to take off down a drag strip. Ever notice how much this guy loves the dots? He’s always jumping from the damn dots like he’s gonna get four points for a dot-dunk or something. Steve ain’t really a small dude either as far as build, but all the work he says he puts into his legs obviously makes the difference because that vertical can sometimes sneak up on you like an ugly girl. BOO!
    
    
12. Desmond Mason
    Fiya dunk = Anything sweet
    I was just watching the 18th rerun of ESPN News from yesterdays games and I saw this kid from West Bubblefuck University go baseline and get hung, like William (no karamo). If I have one pet peeve in sports, its got to be somebody fucking up trying to look sweet... Now, if they do it right, that's my shit! Desmond don't be fucking up. His windmills are like those paintings the white guy with the bush used to create, just beautiful. He's got that graceful glide Ray Allen used to have before he found out three is more than two. Mase has a little power too. Grace + Power = a fool proof plan.
    
    
13. Andre Iguodala
    Fiya dunk = Windm“ewww” dunk
    The best thing about that ‘Dala-Dala is he doesn’t even know what the hell he wants to do half the time. Some guys have routines and dunks they practice and you almost know what they’re gonna do. That can be boring. I never know what this guy is gonna pull out of his ass and I doubt he does either. His windmills are disgusting. They make you make that face. That “ewww” face.
    
    
14. Chris Andersen
    Fiya dunk = The bird tip dunk
    Yeah, I saw the dunk contest. That shit was funny. You think I care if he's uncoordinated? As a matter of fact, that sealed his spot on the list. Look, you gotta have a crazy white boy on the list for GP. And since Brent Barry has followed the Dan Majerle blueprint for the preservation of European knees, what better replacement than the “Birdman?” I love this guy. He doesn’t do anything that wows you, well except in actual games. Those tip dunks be wild, clumsy and funny. He’s always up there, flying around and stuff, like… a bird. Hey, I get it now!