FiyaStarter.com - Them Sports Informers

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Miss the only show worth watching on your favorite sports network not ending in Center or Interruption? Don’t fret, THEM ‘FORMERS got that info. and a Fiya anaylsis, of course.

Ozzie'n'Eli - 10/9/05

THE PANEL
John Saunders
Bob Ryan
Mitch Albom
Mike Lupica

*Note
Since the passing of Ralph Wiley aka Sports Disciple, this program has largely missed a certain Fiya. Bill Rhoden can only do so much, when he's there. We thought long and hard and we’ve decided to officially start the Scoop Jackson watch. He works up this piece now, no excuses. Hell, we’d take Screamin A. Smith, but we already see him 12 hours a week.

**Scoop Watch: Week 24**

. Issue 1: Can the Yankees come back against the Angels?

Bob Ryan started off today's show telling us he's seen the Yanks do more incredible things than coming back to beat the friggin' Angels. Lupica agreed remarking, Washburn and Colon aren't exactly Pedro and pre-ankleotomy Schilling. Lyin' Ass Albom tried to make excuses for New York just in case they weren't able to pull it out against Anaheim."You gotta wonder if the Yanks & Sox take so much out of each other in the regular season that they have nothing left in the post season," he said. I expected Ryan and Lupica who make their living's in Boston and New York to say some female shit like this, but not Lyin' Ass.

. Issue 2: The choking ass White Sox, hanged the Red Sox, are they the favorite now?

Basically the whole panel sucked them off. I refuse to sit here transcribe the praise these dude gave Chicago after calling them chokers for the past couple of months. I mean, I made fun of them too, but I'll be a man and admit it. These guys are just acting like they didn't call this team the worst names that the English dictionary doesn't even use, the second half of the season.

Anyway, after they took White Sox-cocks out of their mouths, they talked about Tony LaRussa and the Atlanta Braves. Ok, I didn't pay much attention because I was still mad, but what could they have possibly said that was that important? Those two subjects have only combined to win two World Series when they should have a minimum of five each. You wanna poke fun at real chokers, there ya go fellas.

. Issue 3: Them Manning boys, they're good, but is it possible that Eli is on big brother's level already?

Lupica thinks it's possible, but more importantly, he thinks Eli's driving force right now is seeing how well Ben Rothlesberger did last year. Lyin' Ass Albom said he had pedigree to be as great if not better than his brother. He couldn't wait to say pedigree and I can't wait to see how he finds a new way to suck off the Pistons in a month.

. Issue 4: Texas finally beat Oklahoma, glory be!

Lyin' Ass Mitch broke the story here, that the Longhorn's now have the inside track to the National Championship. As the Saunders and Lupica digested the bombshell, Ryan told us that if Mack Brown would've found a way to lose that game he might as well have booked a plane ticket back to Chapel Hill. You see the Sooners have beat Texas roughly every single time over the past three decades.of course you knew that. Lupica dousing Texas' bonfiya, let us know that this game was actually close before Vince put this shit to bed. Who cares? Oklahoma has owned them forever, a win is a win is a 30-point win.

. Issue 5: JO PA!

I love, Jo Pa.

You love, Jo Pa.

We all love, Jo Pa!

. Issue 6: Parting Shots

Ryan
Donovan McNabb is one tough SOB. He has sports hernia.

That hernia, that's your back right? Oh shit, well, he got my respect forever cause that back shit ain't no joke. My back locked up in the shower once. Lemme tell you, that was a scary scene. Picture that Psycho shower scene without the knife and blood, but with everything else.

Lupica
I watched El Duke crush the Red Sox spirit and their hopes of defending their fluke ass title, last Friday, I sobbed.

I admit, it was nice to see that high kick. That's a remarkable feat for a 60 year-old man.

Albom
David Stern wants his players who's culture he exploits to wear suits on the sidelines. What an SOB.

Nike and Adidas just gonna make some Dri-fit and Clima-cool button down's with matching quarter tops.

Saunders
Hockey's on again y'all.ahem, I said hockey has returned.HEY, you deaf son of a bitch, I said the NHL is back!

No one cares John, even if they did turn the rules off on the menu screen for the season.

. Issue 7: Shit they were scared to mention that Them Informers caught.

Ozzie said, "I seen ya hatin!"