FiyaStarter.com - Them Sports Informers

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Miss the only show worth watching on your favorite sports network not ending in Center or Interruption? Don’t fret, THEM ‘FORMERS got that info. and a Fiya anaylsis, of course.

The Real Four Brothers - 11/27/05

THE PANEL
Thomas George
Roy S. Johnson
Bill Rhoden
John Saunders

*Note
Since the passing of Ralph Wiley aka Sports Disciple, this program has largely missed a certain Fiya. Bill Rhoden can only do so much, when he's there. We thought long and hard and we’ve decided to officially start the Scoop Jackson watch. He works up this piece now, no excuses. Hell, we’d take Screamin A. Smith, but we already see him 12 hours a week.

**Scoop Watch: Week 31**

. Issue 1: FOUR BLACK MEN.yup, and all four are black!

As the members of our favorite Sunday morning talk show were being introduced, I was pleasantly surprised to see Brother Thomas George on the panel, this week. The Rock eyebrow quickly ensued after Roy The Savoy Johnson was shown as the second guest. Now when the camera panned to Bill Rhoden, more shit ran through my head than Ashton Kutcher's in The Butterfly Effect. The only one I can really remember is a flash of John Saunders sitting at home in his bed saying "Damn, of all weeks, why I call in sick this weekend?" But as they zoomed in to fidgety ass John smiling, I have to admit I almost choked up. Had it not been for the barrage of incoming phone calls from Brothers just as shocked and overjoyed as I was, I would have probably cried. Then for the first time ever, I wished I was sitting in a white person's living room on a Sunday morning, just to get a glimpse of how they felt.and to point, laugh and act blacker than black, much like the four aforementioned Brothers were going to act for the next 30 minutes. Welcome to the greatest installment of Them Sports Informers, EVER!

. Issue 2: Can the Colts really go undefeated?

Brother George doesn't think Indy can run the table, but he believes their black coach, Tony Dungy will draw up a good enough game plan to defeat the Steelers, who wear black, but don't have an Asiatic black man holding the big clipboard on their sideline. Roy The Savoy doesn't think they will end up 16-0 either, but Dungy's biggest concern is wrapping up home field advantage so Peyton won't have the opportunity to choke in New England in January. Rhoden Dawg said he talked to Cincinnati's black coach Marvin Lewis, last week and his reaction to the Colts was simply, "Goddamn they good," clearly crediting the job Brother Dungy was doing.

. Issue 3: What about that Charlie Weiss, guys?

In easily the most FIYA filled segment of the morning, the real Four Brothers gave their thoughts about Charlie Weiss and the job he's done at Notre Dame. Roy The Savoy chimed in first;

"NOPE, Ty should still be on that sideline, and we're gonna talk about it.
They fired my nigga, damn! Do they know I went to Stanford,
where Ty coached? Do they know I have a mighty pen to
expose them, every week? Do they know my wardrobe
is 30% Purple Label?" - Roy The Savoy

"Well, if it's any concession, I think Notre Dame offered
Weiss that money because the NFL was calling
and they had to keep him." - Saunders

"Wrong panel for that argument." - Rhoden Dawg

*panel laughs kicking their feet, leaning back like they're at the Kings of Comedy*

"Good one Bill, but seriously, if he don't do this every year,
he better get fired, you hear me?" - Roy The Savoy

"Solid." - Saunders

"Right on." - Brother George

"Damn straight!" - Rhoden Dawg

. Issue 4: It's November and a Buccs-Bears game means something, wtf?

"Hold up, did y'all see Phil Simms go off on Steve Young, last week
because he said something about his son, Chris? If he was
black we woulda heard about how 'unprofessional' that
was, don't you think?" - Rhoden Dawg

"Alright now, before we go too far into that, let's analyze the game
first.I mean, this is fun and all, but I want to keep this sweet gig,
when them other dudes come back from Thanksgiving
vacation, next week." - Saunders

"True." - Brother George

"Oh, right. Yeah, soooo, this game is about defense and
the Bears have a better defense and their coach is a
brotha.what, what I say?" - Roy The Savoy

. Issue 5: Parting Shots

George
Look who decided to show up after 15 years of mediocre shit he woulda been fired for if he was black, Mike Holmgren.

True indeed, only Steve Howe and Robert Downey, Jr. have been given more chances to resurrect their fluke careers.

Savoy
East Brunswick High School football coach Marcus Borden, has been criticized for having prayers before games. I don't disagree with him at all, but that's not the point, if he was black he woulda been fired.like Ty.

Couldn't have said it better, myself, The Savoy.

Rhoden
If USC don't get in that National Championship game, I'm going off. And furthermore, if Reggie Bush don't get that Heisman, I'm blowing that New York sports club up.well, unless they give it to Vince Young.

No need to worry Bill, after that game last week, Reggie got that Heisman wrapped up like money in a zip-lock bag, uh huh, uh huh. (NOOOOOPE!!!)

Saunders
The 1919 White Sox, who threw their World Series, claim to have done so because they didn't get paid. That's some nigga shit. I guess that's why they named them the "Black Sox," ahem.

NO, IT CAN'T END. TOO SHORT, MORE, PLEASE MORE!!!

. Issue 6: Shit they were scared to mention that Them Informers caught.

Well, they ain't Scoop, but THEY BLACK!