FiyaStarter.com - Them Sports Informers

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Miss the only show worth watching on your favorite sports network not ending in Center or Interruption? Don’t fret, THEM ‘FORMERS got that info. and a Fiya anaylsis, of course.

T.O. All Day, Ayeday - 11/6/05

THE PANEL
John Saunders
Bob Ryan
Bill Rhoden
Mike Lupica

*Note
Since the passing of Ralph Wiley aka Sports Disciple, this program has largely missed a certain Fiya. Bill Rhoden can only do so much, when he's there. We thought long and hard and we’ve decided to officially start the Scoop Jackson watch. He works up this piece now, no excuses. Hell, we’d take Screamin A. Smith, but we already see him 12 hours a week.

**Scoop Watch: Week 28**

. Issue 1: USC-Texas ready for takeoff?

The USC-Texas match up everyone has been bitching about possibly not happening, since September because of the BCS rankings looks to be on again because Virginia Tech literally fumbled away any chance it had to play in a National Championship game according to Rhoden. Ryan the cynic warned everyone not to overlook UCLA tripping up USC, even though they just got their asses kicked by Arizona. Lupica reiterated what every SEC fan has been feeling for the last two years; BCS computers hate the SEC, particularly Auburn and Alabama. Of course right after Lupica makes a good point he asks something dumb like what about Notre Dame to which Ryan quickly responded, "Fuck No! They lost twice!"
Hmmm, I guess that's as close as we're getting to addressing Jason Whitlock's article about Notre Dame giving Charlie Weiss that extension. Doesn't it seem like ESPN would automatically have Fatlock on to discuss this? Eh, maybe it's just me.

. Issue 2: So are the Colts gonna stand up to their daddies or what?

"If they don't beat my Pats, they're jokes.
Fuckin' jokes." - Ryan

"They should win, the Pats are horrible." - Lupica

"Hahahahahaha, you scared Ryan." - Rhoden

*Ryan tries to say something, but no words come out*

"This is important for Peyton Manning to finally
prove himself in a big game against his parents." - Saunders

"Hahahahahahaha, look y'all Ryan is
still scared." - Rhoden

*Ryan is still trying to say something, but no dice*

. Issue 3: T.O. What'cha got?

Lupica believes this whole mess that is making Shaq and Kobe look like an argument between Cliff and Clair Huxtable, is the Eagles fault because they knew exactly what they were getting into. Rhoden who appears to be on some sort of barbiturate during this segment says he kinda sees T.O.'s point about McNabb in this whole thing. When Ryan asks him what exactly Donovan did, Bill admits he's just playing devil's advocate. After Ryan angrily tells Bill to shut up, Bill laughs hysterically as they go to break.

. Issue 4: Ron-Ron Artest is back!

*Panel acknowledges the boy is plum crazy and moves on*

. Issue 5: Parting Shots

Ryan
Theo Epstein, I won't just come out and say it, but-- You bitch! I hate you and you stink!

Thanks to Theo, Bill Simmons' father can die happily. Why don't YOU shut up, Bob?

Lupica
Dennis Rodman was a clown in his day; Terrell Owens is presently a clown. Dennis won a lot. That's the only difference I can think of.

Nah, this ain't even close, Rodman was a clown, T.O. is a selfish nuisance. They both might be gay though.

Rhoden
Eli Manning is Serena to Peyton's Venus. In this universe, Eli and Serena are improvements over their older siblings.

If you're a Giant or Patriot fan, you hope this comparison stays vague, otherwise, look for the two brothers-Manning to quit football in a couple years to design ugly cowboy getups.

Saunders
How dumb is New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson? He attacked a fuckin' camera man, while it was on!

Damn, I wish that was me. Best believe I woulda found something broken and got some money up off that old ass umbrella waving fool.

. Issue 6: Shit they were scared to mention that Them Informers caught.

NOPE! Asiatic Black man won that UFC!