*Note
Since the passing of Ralph Wiley aka Sports Disciple, this program has largely missed a certain Fiya. Bill Rhoden can only do so much, when he's there. We thought long and hard and we’ve decided to officially start the Scoop Jackson watch. He works up this piece now, no excuses. Hell, we’d take Screamin A. Smith, but we already see him 12 hours a week.

**Scoop Watch: Week 2**

Lyin' Ass Mitch, Mike and Dan all agreed that the Spurs are a good team with Duncan on the floor, but only a championship team with him healthy. Like, no shit. Don’t tell me I woke up early for this. Lupica remarked that the Spurs would have had a better chance than the Lakers against the Pistons last year in the Finals. The same Finals the Lakers got their asses kicked in. Another gem, Mike. I’m getting mad, we’re moving on.

• Issue 2: The Rockets – Mavs series

“Yao is softer than soft ice cream.” –Lupica

More obviousness, but this needed to be said because it’s swept under the rug too much. Never mind that wack ass joke, it’s true. Oh yeah, in case you don’t remember, there’s a guy named Amare Stoudamire who was drafted way after Yao, three years ago. He was the rookie of the year and he's actually earned the billing Yao gets... Huh?

• Issue 3: Miami, Shaq

Lyin' Ass Mitch let us know Miami needs to end the New Jersey Nets season ASAP. The Heat are obviously going to win this series, but these games aren’t doing anything but prolonging Shaq’s time on the floor… I wonder if Albom has actually watched this series. I’ve probably seen Shaq on the floor 15 minutes, maximum. Damon Jones' gums and Zo’s bicep have quadrupled Shaq’s minutes.

• Issue 4: Iverson stole a game against Detroit, can he steal the series?

In unison the panel says “Hell no.” I’m getting mad again.

• Issue 6: Can the Orioles stay ahead of the Yanks & Red Sox?

Lupica said BJ Ryan is for real, the hitters are for real and moreover the Orioles are for real. This was funny. No one believes this shit and everyone outside of Maryland will be mad if the O’s are for real. No one cares about baseball outside of the Yanks & Sox as it is. Those rating will go down faster than Ken Griffey’s numbers and rookie card value. I hope it happens.

• Issue 7: Phil Jackson is coming back, but where?

Phil has talked to every team that has money and the potential to get him his tenth title. While LA, NY and possibly Minnesota *panel laughs* seem like logical stops, surprisingly they think the Zen-man should go to Cleveland despite their lunatic owner. WTF are these dudes smoking? I understand the link Phil has with taking the “next great one(s)” to the next level, but that franchise doesn’t have any type of structure and the pieces around ‘Bron fit about as well as Bill Parcells in a speedo. They’ve given away important pieces and draft picks for shit. Phil don’t need that. He wants number ten ASAP, so he can make Auerbach mad while he’s still breathing without a machine.

• Issue 8: Parting Shots

LeBatard:
Here’s a rant about idiots. I’m an idiot for not believing in the Red Sox last year. Schilling called Lou Pinella an idiot this week and…

Umm, something else, I forgot. This was really slow developing and painful to watch. He should never try this again.

Lupica:
The Pacers fucked their season up during the brawl (duh). It almost happened again against the Celtics. Antoine Walker is an idiot. He’s no better than crazy Ron-Ron, who is a proven idiot.

The Pacers season been fucked up, don't even try it.

Lyin' Ass Albom:
Iverson got hit with a coin and didn’t shoot anyone. He deserves a holiday for not shooting the idiot who did this.

He does, you wouldn’t have heard the end of this shit if he got one of his goons to cripple that fan, as he should’ve.

Saunders:
Reggie’s old ass is carrying Bird’s wack team. In playoff wins so far against the Celtics, he’s dropped 28 and 33. Not as great as him dropping 50 points in the last 12 seconds against the Knicks, that one time, but he’s doing his part in between Ben Gay rubdowns. We’re all idiots if we don’t appreciate him.

Bravo, John. Stellar as usual.

Jordan Still Likes Gambling *Surprised Face*