*Note
Since the passing of Ralph Wiley aka Sports Disciple, this program has largely missed a certain Fiya. Bill Rhoden can only do so much, when he's there. We thought long and hard and we’ve decided to officially start the Scoop Jackson watch. He works up this piece now, no excuses. Hell, we’d take Screamin A. Smith, but we already see him 12 hours a week.

**Scoop Watch: Week 8**

“I’m waiting for Tiger… in that red shirt. He wears one every Sunday,
but he always finds a way to pull it off different, ya know?” - Roy the Savoy

*Real quick, for those who don’t know, brother Roy, who still isn’t Scoop Jackson… ahem, used to be the H.N.I.C. over at Savoy Magazine. Still drawing a blank? Well, you must not be black, saditty and fashionably able. I can’t do much for you, here. Ok, back to the program.

“I sure hope Tiger doesn’t go ape on that course Sunday.
I pray for god he doesn’t!” – Lupica

“Hopefully Goosen won’t look over his shoulder. If he does, Tiger is sure
to be there just like motherfuckin’ Candyman. Ratief will then shit on
himself and lose, in that order.” – Lyin’ Ass Mitch

• Issue 2: The Spurs choked against the Lakers last year. Can they gather the vomit to do it again?

“Please don’t roll the tape from last Sunday, we might lose our jobs.
Well, maybe not y’all, but I live in D-town. I might not be able to go home
and Maury is dead, so I have no place to stay.” - Lyin’ Ass Albom

“The Pistons are stopping Ginobili. I don’t know what to say…
Wait, I’ve got one. I don’t know what kind of physical shape Manu’s in.
He could be hurt. Buyin’ it? - Lupica

“Why haven’t y’all commented on my purple shirt yet?
Don’t act like y’all didn’t see it either. Gucci
never goes unnoticed.” – Roy the Savoy

“Look, Lyin’ Ass, Mike, if y’all don’t ask me to explain this this,
I won’t bring up Sheed and how you two talked shit about him
last week, ok? Great, we have an understanding.” - Saunders

• Issue 3: Red Auerbach said Phil Jackson came back to L.A. for money.

“Phil is such a phony. He writes a book, where he trashes Kobe,
now he’s back with the bean in less than a year…
Having said that, I woulda took that money, too.” - Lupica

“Jerry Buss trashed this guy, then tried to make him forget it all with a check…
Having said that, I woulda took that money, too.” – Truthful for once ass Albom

“Well, the NBA is happy. They needed a story amid these terrible ass Finals that look more like open scrimmages… Oh the money? Damn right he did it for the money. I know I would have. You know how sharp I would look with that much money?
Not that I don’t now, because a brother got style for days. Catch my tie pin?
It’s authentic go----“ - Roy the Savoy

“Thanks, Roy. We’ll be back with Parting Shots.” - Saunders

• Issue 4: Parting Shots

Roy S.avoy Johnson:
Andre Agassi will finally hang his Nikes up for good, at the U.S. Open. I remember when he had style, now he’s just bland and bald. Bald as me, but see there’s a difference. I do it with style… B.E.T. Style. I could make that show much better if they let me, you know?

I actually agree with Roy, here. Ain’t got shit to do with sports, but I agree, and I enjoyed it.

Lupica:
Lou Pinnella went to Tampa Bay to get paid. Problem is the money wasn’t enough for him. He wants to win too, but his bosses are cheap and the only thing they spent money on was, him. How about that?

Good point, Mike. He should shut the fuck up before somebody gets Frank Robinson to knock some sense in his head.

Lyin’ Ass Albom:
Darko turns 20 tomorrow. He sits on the bench a lot. He’s mad about it, but he needs to shut his Euro trap, he lived in Yugoslavia two years ago where he had to dodge double teams and big ass bombs on the playground. Now all he has to dodge is reporters and splinters.

We are 3 for 3. If John can get one more, we’re leaving here bowling a Peg Bundy.

Saunders:
Dwane Casey finally got a coaching gig. He’s an Asiatic black man, who was wrongly scapegoated by the man (aka the NCAA) for others wrongdoings. He had to coach in Asia because he got blackballed like his name was Craig fucking Hodges, while everyone else in the scandal walked away and got raises. Well, guess what now, bitches? King Asiatic Dwane is back with that fiya Crane style, pokin’ all you biscuit head mofo’s right beween the eyes. He gets to coach KG, the MVP one year removed. KG. Black justice prevails once again, this week.

John not only wins, but he wins with plenty of time left in regulation.