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Issue 5: Parting Shots
O’Connor
Lance Armstrong is getting respect because he’s
won this bike thing seven times. Lets compare him to other
greats like Nicholas, Jordan, Gretzky, et al.
Will somebody snatch this leprechaun up and choke his
ass out with one of those yellow bands, already?
Callahan
Pedro pitching at Shea Stadium is an event in NY,
but he aint gonna have shit to do in October. I hope that
money was worth it.
He’s
right, but he sounded kind of bitter. Hmmm… is that
really you, Ryan?
Whitlock
Ty Law is the most complete cornerback in football,
but he’s a damn free agent, WHY?! Don’t gimme
no shit about a salary cap either. You know I live in
Kansas City, right? They must be Chief’n something
serious to not have snatched him up already. You seen
the Colts make that secondary look like the Little Giants
the past two years? Somebody, anybody, Kansas City; SHOW
HIM THE MONAAAY!
Somebody
needs to hit Whitlock off with a handkerchief reup, ASAP.
That shit looks like the ravaged leading brand paper towel
in a Bounty commercial and that rant didn’t
help his damp ass either.
Saunders
Michelle Wie needs to beat up on these bitches instead
of getting her ass kicked by these men. If she’s
really that good, then she’ll have plenty of time
to make cuts and embarrass males for the next 15 years,
which ironically enough is her age. You don’t think
this has anything to do with money, do you?
Wie
in the money, Wie in the money.
*Daffy
duck shuffle*
