FiyaStarter.com - Them Sports Informers

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“I was gonna drive around
the corner and get a blow job.”
-Charles Barkley
Drunk ass political hopeful.

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Miss the only show worth watching on your favorite sports network not ending in Center or Interruption? Don’t fret, THEM ‘FORMERS got that info. and a Fiya anaylsis, of course.

Football 'n' Barry - 9/18/05

THE PANEL
John Saunders
Mike Lupica
Dan LeBatard
Mitch Albom

*Note
Since the passing of Ralph Wiley aka Sports Disciple, this program has largely missed a certain Fiya. Bill Rhoden can only do so much, when he's there. We thought long and hard and we’ve decided to officially start the Scoop Jackson watch. He works up this piece now, no excuses. Hell, we’d take Screamin A. Smith, but we already see him 12 hours a week.

**Scoop Watch: Week 21**

. Issue 1: Urban Meyer of Florida won a big game against Tennessee, is he Spurrier-like now?

Lyin' Ass Mitch started off the show by commending Urban, who has the greatest name on the planet, mind you, on passing his first test. Lupica came in hating on Mr. Meyer letting everyone know it's just September, so we shouldn't get too excited. Dan LeBatard cut Lupica off telling him that all Urban can do is play and win the games they put in front of him, like the 1400 games straight he won at Utah. Lupica reiterated his unfounded doubt of Meyer by saying he wasn't Charlie Weiss. Saunders said he Mike was right, because Weiss has a fuckin' loss, while Urban is undefeated and has won his head to head match-up against Tennessee, which has produced one half of the SEC championship game for only the last two millenniums.

. Issue 2: Notre Dame came back and still lost.

"Ty Willingham went 8-0 before he lost, let's talk about that." - Saunders

"For whatever reason, Michigan loses to Notre Dame, they get hyped, then Michigan State comes in and deflates the balloon. Every year, it's like watchingGroundhog Day.
This year Charlie Weiss played Bill Murray." - Lyin' Ass Albom

"All of a sudden I don't like college football overtime. It has nothing to do with
The Nationally televised Fighting Irish losing in overtime though." -Lupica

"Wait a damn minute, Michigan State done beat these mofo's five straight
times in South Bent. Fukka overtime, the Spartans own The Nationally
televised Fighting Irish." - Lyin' Ass Albom

*panel looks on in terror*

. Issue 3: The Saints got a raw deal having to play their "Home Opener" against the Giants.IN NEW YORK!

Mr. Info himself, Lupica let us all know that this game will be important for the Saints franchise. Lyin' Ass Mitch thought last week's game was huge, but the real thing to watch with the Saints is the cumulative effect of not having a real home field for a whole season. John, who is pretty talkative this week thinks the owner needs to stand up for the city of New Orleans and show he wants to be there, even though he doesn't. Lupica asks John, who's he trying to fool. "Everyone knows they're as good as in San Antonio. It's all about money and that old man cares about nothing else but his." I know everyone wants to stay positive for the people of New Orleans, but thank god Mike just came out and said the ugly truth.

. Issue 4: The Red Sox have the Yankees breathing down their pencil necks. Don't think we didn't notice this Boston fans...Ryan.

"Hold up, the Yankees now have a better pitching staff than the Sox?
How.when.did that happen?!" - Lupica

*everyone looks for Bob Ryan*

"Oh, y'all just catching that? He ain't here.anyway.Goddamn! The White Sox
were up 15 fucking games three days ago! Shit is down to like three. If they
choke this away.Cubs fans will sleep a little better." - Albom

"True that." - The panel

. Issue 5: Parting Shots

LeBatard
Was Randy Moss the reason behind Dante's Inferno? It's only one game, but will Moss prove to be the Shaq to Culpepper's Kobe?

Terrific analogy Dan, you're only five months late with it.

Lupica
Barry said he has to drop his weight down to 200-something pounds. He hasn't been 200-something since Kirstie Alley. He's on 'roids.

They're not catching him, Mike. Your animosity lost.

Lyin' Ass Albom
How the fuck do you get thrown out of a game before the game starts?! But get this, after that the ref threw a flag.before the game started! Then used instant replay.before the game started! The NFL always finds to turn it up a notch. BAM!

That shit was crazy. I watched it live and thought I had Monday Night Raw on by mistake.

*spits apple in Mitch's face*

Saunders
That dumb ass NHL lockout made old vets, who got lazy and fat, retire. Among others, the great Mark Messier. I'm going to miss him and I hate hockey more than ever for doing this.

Me too, John. Mark and Wayne are the only reasons I copped NHL '94 for the Genesis. Well, them and Tie Domi. He still fighting, errrrr, playing?

. Issue 6: Shit they were scared to mention that Them Informers caught.

Yeah, he came back for the record...so?